Last month my husband and I had our second son. 4 days after returning home from the hospital, I found phone numbers on the back of his reports. He denied knowing who they were even though it was written in his handwriting. I called one of the numbers (it was two) and the lady told me she met him on a chat line. She also stated she had never seen him, but they talked twice over the phone. He also told her he had children with me, but failed to tell her he was married. She apologized to me because she did not know the situation. I voiced my opinion about the matter to him and left it alone. Later that night he left the house and has not been home since then. I later found out that the same week of finding the numbers, he picked a woman up in my car and took her to his job (He works outside). Of course he denied that too. He told his parents he is not ready to come home or call yet because he can't deal with it right now and he don't want to hear me argue with him. He wont tell anyone where he has been staying, but claim there is no one else in his life. When they spoke to him about his behavior, he became defensive and walked out on them as well. How could he be so selfish. If there was an emergency no one knows where to reach him because he no longer is assigned to the place he took the woman. We have been together for 4 years and now married only 10 months. He is telling his parents that he still love and want his family, but his actions don't support his words. I want to do what is right by my marriage, but at the same time I don't want to be made a fool of or taken for granted. It is hard to get straight answers from my husband because I have not seen or heard from him in three weeks. He apparently is avoiding me. I really need someone to give me some advice and help me out with this one.

You can only salvage if he is willing to try. Doesn't sound like he is...right now anyway.

I'd give him a few months to figure things out in his head. If he still doesn't go for help with MC or starts trying, then I'd say head for divorce court.

Read about Plan A. I never had to do it, but some people here swear by it.

Good luck!
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I would read as much as you could on this website, and read the forums...read the articles and Q & A of Dr. Harley's and read on General Questions.

You can start to develop a plan of action for your life...

Doesn't sound like you have a very enthusiastic partner in rebuilding you M. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Continue working on the M anyway. Regardless of the outcome you will feel better for having done your absolute best.

Unfortunately it seems to be the pattern of WS's that the BS has to put forth most of the effort to heal the M in the begining. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Hopefully he will come around soon and really start to help you with this.

Keep posting to this site and let us know how things are going. There are a lot of people here whom have been through this and can offer insight.

Stay strong.

At least his parents are trying to talk sense to him. That's a blessing for you.

His cheating couldn't come at a worse time for you, with a new infant. Besides trying to talk sense to their son, are his parents willing to support you by coming over, helping with grocery shopping, driving you to the baby doctor, etc? If so, you are lucky.

I would insist that if he return, he get checked for STD's. The last thing you need at this point is to deal with something like that.

Read about Plan A, and figure out how to get yourself financially secure. If you have any bank accounts, clean them out and set new ones up in your name only. The baby is depending on you.

Taking care of yourself and the baby is Prime right now. Focus on that. Consider your husband to have been abducted by aliens but work toward his return.