Hey guys, I haven't been posting much, as of late, because I don't really feel like I'm in a place where I really have anything helpful to add. Hopefully I'll be in that place again soon, because I really like to help people....anyway, I digress.

Anyone reading "The Purpose Driven Life"???? I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in starting a discussion on this book. I am in chapter 6, but I'd be more than happy to re-read the previous chapters and discuss.

This book is WONDERFUL!!! I love it, it is helping me immensely.

Let me know <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless!!

-Caren

Caren -how are you and what have you been up to.

I bought the CD and I did about 12 days but got sidetracked and broke my daily routine. It is very good though.

ts

Really enjoying the book. I started reading it last month. Am recovering from major surgery...would enjoy a thread on the book while I am recovering. Haven't been to MB for weeks.
Some notable things in the book that have helped me tremendously.

Would love to dwell on the positives.

God bless,
Brandi

Caren,

Glad to see you are reading this most wonderful book.

Aside from that, how about an update? We do want to know. LOL

Love in Christ,
Miss M

I will re-ready Chapter 1 tonight and put up my thoughts tommorrow. (It gets kinda hard to get online since I have to do it at the public library)

As for an update...not really much to tell, things are about the same as they have been, my husband is still convinced he wants a divorce and I've still been planning to leave, I will most likely wait until after New Years Day, just because I don't think I'll be able to talk anyone into helping me move before then.

I am going to leave him a Plan B letter, and then go dark....he doesn't care for Plan B at all, so I'm sure he'll be calling the heck out of me when he comes home from work to find me gone. I have the pre-paid cell phone for his contact with DD10, and I will put minutes on it before I move and will leave him the number. He is going to have her every other weekend (Or at least that's the visitation he says he wants after our *D*) so that's what I'm giving him. I am going to have a 3rd party drop her off at his work on Friday's and pick her up from his work on Sundays.

I'm fully dedicated to Plan B this time.....although I'll have to admit I am not sure what exactly to put in the letter....Mortarman told me not to put my conditions for return to the marriage in it....so I'm not sure what to do...I have to set up some parameters on what it would take to mend this marriage if that is what he chooses...but I'm not sure what those are.

I actually think this may turn him around....as you well know I couldn't stick to Plan B the first time around....otherwise I'd probably be in a far different place right now....even though he says he wants a divorce he says things like "My mom got divorced and remarried the same man" and "I'll always love you Caren, but so much has happened that I don't feel like I'm in love with you, and I need to see if I can get those feelings back..." (Apparently divorce will help him in this respect).

I don't know how much contact he has with the FOW, he says she hates him.....but who knows. I know that he called her in the beginning of November and talked to her 3 minutes, per his cell phone records....but that's the only positive proof I've seen of any contact.

So anyway, He's never EVER (even throughout the entire affair) had to do without me. When we were separated and his *A* was in full swing, he was still calling me to make arrangements with utility companies...etc. And I do ABSOLUTELY everything around the house....he doesn't have to lift a finger when he gets home from work....the house is clean, the laundry is done and dinner is waiting on him, and I'm going to keep that up until the minute I leave, and then I'm ripping it all away.

So I guess we'll just have to see what happens, but I know that I can't tolerate the way I'm living, and so regardless of the end results, I need Plan B to get my life back.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-Caren

Caren,

Sorry to see your situation has not changed.

I will pray for you, and I do think that Plan B is in order. Hoping that God blesses you with some money so you can move.

I don't know how you are doing this, but it sounds like you are doing a great Plan A.

Not good about contact with ow, even if it was 3 minutes. Did you confront or just keep it to yourself?

Hope things go better for you, continue with the purpose driven life, it is a great book. My H has read it cover to cover.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Nope, I didn't confront about contact.....why should I??? He's just going to lie to me, we're in no kind of recovery, so I just kept it to myself, and everytime I start to lose it over the situation (i.e. *movies* and mental images) I consciously stop myself and say "Okay, I can't worry about this, I have no control over him, I can only control myself" and I re-give it to God.

The purpose driven life is such a wonderful read, and it's giving me a perspective on life I hadn't thought of, and deeper understanding of what it means to surrender to the Lord.

I am actually not even remotely unhappy anymore, this situation....my marriage, all of it is no longer my focus, my focus is on me and how I can best live my life serving the lord.....I need to figure this out with or without my husband....no I don't want a divorce, but the thought is no longer scorching my every waking moment....I no longer sit around and think about what I can do to save my marriage, I am finally....truly able to let go of the wheel, and let the Lord take control, and let me tell you....it's a load of my mind <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

God Bless,

Caren