Last month my husband and I had our second son. 4 days after returning home from the hospital, I found phone numbers on the back of his reports. He denied knowing who they were even though it was written in his handwriting. I called one of the numbers (it was two) and the lady told me she met him on a chat line. She also stated she had never seen him, but they talked twice over the phone. He also told her he had children with me, but failed to tell her he was married. She apologized to me because she did not know the situation. I voiced my opinion about the matter to him and left it alone. Later that night he left the house and has not been home since then. I later found out that the same week of finding the numbers, he picked a woman up in my car and took her to his job (He works outside). Of course he denied that too. He told his parents he is not ready to come home or call yet because he can't deal with it right now and he don't want to hear me argue with him. He wont tell anyone where he has been staying, but claim there is no one else in his life. When they spoke to him about his behavior, he became defensive and walked out on them as well. How could he be so selfish. If there was an emergency no one knows where to reach him because he no longer is assigned to the place he took the woman. We have been together for 4 years and now married only 10 months. He is telling his parents that he still love and want his family, but his actions don't support his words. I want to do what is right by my marriage, but at the same time I don't want to be made a fool of or taken for granted. It is hard to get straight answers from my husband because I have not seen or heard from him in three weeks. He apparently is avoiding me. I really need someone to give me some advice and help me out with this one.

Sounds like he has another woman somewhere. How has he treated you up to this point?

You can read all about Plan A here. That is the starting point.

Catina,

""He wont tell anyone where he has been staying, but claim there is no one else in his life""

If he hasn't seen or talked to you in the last 3 weeks you may wish to at least speak to an attorney to learn what is involved and ask any questions you may have.

It is very bad form that he does not contact you or want to spend time with your and his sons.

I would say he is forsaking all others and hiding, shacked-up with some OW! Why else would he just leave and not come home?

There have been stories of WHs that leave their entire families and careers for the OM and the fantasy world of the A.

k

I would call his job and see if someone can tell you if he is still working there. I hope you are taking care of yourself with a new baby and other children. You must be beyond knowing what to do. I an others are praying for you.

He has treated me fine up to this point. He is still working, but his days were cut down. (he denies that too)His job will not tell me where he has been placed.
There was a couple of instances we would get into it and he would leave and go to his father's house, but come home later. According to his parents, this is how he has always dealt with problems (running away) He was at home most of the time but within the last three weeks is when he found another job and this is when all of this began.

His uncle phoned me today and asked what was going on. He told me my husband came by his house. (this is odd because he rarely talk/see his uncle) He told him we had a big blow out and he had to leave before he hurt somebody. He also told his uncle that he is giving his mother money to give to me for the kids. Both of these statements are untrue. He told his uncle he was staying with friends and he does not have a phone. He then proceeds to call his step-father (must have had access to a phone because it is 17 degrees outside and too cold to be at a payphone) and again said he is not contacting me because he don't want to argue and he has been busy working two jobs. He asked his step-father not to tell me he called. I don't believe he is working two jobs because I waited for him to get another job for 6 months and he did not. The reason he has this job is because I helped him get it.

I suggest you either contact an attorney to arrange some support, or apply for emergency aid from the county you live in.

Many men leave to be with another woman, and temporarily "forget" their financial obligations.

It's all the same woman..he's with her.

He lied to her..didn't tell he was married...he's trying to patch things up. He can't concentrate on two things at one time.

This is where he's at. Do you still have the phone number?

I'd call the police and report him missing.

And then I'd get an attorney to secure finances for the babies.

THEN...work on your H...who is actively in an A.

My FWH...met someone online...story is just too familiar. She lost it when she found out he was married..apologized up a storm to me..could not BE more sorry...for about 3 days.