Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#1536195 12/07/05 09:13 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
How about an update? How are you doing? And how is your family doing?

believer #1536196 12/07/05 09:53 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
Hey believer,

I feel like Lemonman being called out here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

(as you're probably all too aware) The holidays are tough! Haven't been alone this time of year since '72 (was in VietNam). That "experience"...well, let's just say it "soured" me to the holidays...even during better times.

Personally...still test negative. Still "re-inventing" myself. Still trying to figure out what God wants me to be.

Unfortunately, still spend too much time trying to figure out what went wrong (a purely rhetorical question since I'll never know...at least in this lifetime).

For the life of me, I do not know why I continue to come back to this forum. It's not like I have any "sage advise" or "wisdom" to impart (like you and JL and SD and even LM (in his own way) and so many others). There's so much pain here! The "train wreck" of infidelity continues to play itself over and over again. Different "train", different "passengers", same carnage!


Me, 58
Her, 52 (called away 4/5/2005)
Married 32+
d-day (this time) 6/13/04
children - grown

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethic over convenience, and truth over popularity...these are choices that measure your life.
Ron53 #1536197 12/07/05 10:14 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Glad things are okay with you. I won't ever get answers either. My WH has never given any complaints or reasons. But I come here to encourage others that life CAN be good again.

It's been 3 years now, and I'm fine. You will get there too.

believer #1536198 12/07/05 10:26 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
Believer, you've helped so many over the years. To you and all the other "senior" members who take time from their lives to help and guide the "walking wounded" of the devastation of infidelity... [color:"red"]THANK YOU [/color]


Me, 58
Her, 52 (called away 4/5/2005)
Married 32+
d-day (this time) 6/13/04
children - grown

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethic over convenience, and truth over popularity...these are choices that measure your life.
Ron53 #1536199 12/07/05 11:26 PM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Ron - I hope that you will continue to post. We all hope for a happy ending, but are not promised that. I think it is good for folks to see that even those who don't get what they wanted can go on and have a good life.

Ron53 #1536200 12/07/05 11:30 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Quote
Personally...still test negative. Still "re-inventing" myself. Still trying to figure out what God wants me to be.
That is good to hear.
Quote
For the life of me, I do not know why I continue to come back to this forum. It's not like I have any "sage advise" or "wisdom" to impart (like you and JL and SD and even LM (in his own way) and so many others). There's so much pain here! The "train wreck" of infidelity continues to play itself over and over again. Different "train", different "passengers", same carnage!
I realize you don't know me but I have followed your story and I personally can say your story can and should be a wake up call to WS and BS alike. You have much to contribute.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665
U
UVA Offline
Member
Member
U Offline
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665
Ron53,

I just went back and read all of your story. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

As LM once said to you, let me know if I can be of any help to you, even though I am a stranger to you.

God Bless

UVA #1536202 12/09/05 10:31 AM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
FF and UVA,

You both must be very patient to have dug through all of the (what is it now...16 or 17 month) saga. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I did the same thing Wednesday night when believer called me out. Sad isn't it? IF I hadn't lived it, I wouldn't believe it!

Thank you both for your kind wishes...


Me, 58
Her, 52 (called away 4/5/2005)
Married 32+
d-day (this time) 6/13/04
children - grown

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethic over convenience, and truth over popularity...these are choices that measure your life.
Ron53 #1536203 12/09/05 11:27 AM
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
B
Member
Member
B Offline
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Ron - Your story still haunts me. I think that it is one of the saddest that I've read about here. Hope you are making some progress toward recovery and that your family is doing okay.

believer #1536204 12/09/05 01:31 PM
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
R
Member
Member
R Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 291
Hi believer,

Caught your "but some women have scruples" comment over on Perplexed' thread. I could be wrong (and usually am), but sensed an "icy chill" in your words (sent a shiver down my back, not much can do that anymore). I guess it's the unspoken other end of that statement that caused my pause. [shrug].

Here's hoping that better days are ahead for ALL OF US!


Me, 58
Her, 52 (called away 4/5/2005)
Married 32+
d-day (this time) 6/13/04
children - grown

The highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity. Choosing right over wrong, ethic over convenience, and truth over popularity...these are choices that measure your life.
Ron53 #1536205 12/09/05 02:54 PM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665
U
UVA Offline
Member
Member
U Offline
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 665
Ron,

I was very moved by your story. I think you did the best that could have been done.

You're in my prayers.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 147 guests, and 46 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Countfunkula, mollye14, Pansu, sakyt, George Mixflicke
72,372 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,659
Posts2,323,613
Members72,372
Most Online9,682
May 13th, 2026
deneme bonusu
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0