Thanks everybody. Much love to ya!
And Lem, there's btw...a TON OF STUFF that does not go into any posting or dealing here...let's just say that it is stuff that is part of the reason why maybe I haven't stopped posting yet...really wicked stuff that happened.
And yes, overrated or not, closure is something people like us desperately try to attain. Maybe I am trying to much to attain it? Maybe so. Maybe yes!
And the crapola I see for ds is why I do still have any involvement. Incidentally, my chapters written were written about 2.5 years ago when I was at a convention meeting on the GA coast at a resort. I began the book that weekend. I finished it a year later...I did what a writer friend of mine from back home advised me to do...he said to wait about 3 years after I have let my life settle down. Re-read it, and edit it and then decide on the ending. All is indeed written except for the end. It is about half fiction, half fact btw. My story I guess was indeed lacking a few things, and I filled in blanks after a night having a few tequila shots with my dear sister and bro in law! Incidentally, my sis has a work published, about the practice of wildcrafting...use of herbs by mountain folk as medicine...some of the people have never btw seen a doc! She did that during my bro in law's last 2 years of med school.
It was like at the first, after all this stuff began in my life, that I had all this energy. Energy to fight it, to stand against the stuff, etc. The whole divorce thing. It gave me the energy to do all this. Now it seems the last year, I've been just exhausted AFTER the fight...now it's over.
Like one long exhale. A really long one.
Thanks to everybody for prayers and for good thoughts. My ds is happy and peaceful. He is so happy and I know it's because we've felt the prayers.
I so hope and pray that somebody here learns something. That they see how a man was so enabled by his family, his money, his mistress, that he threw his life away. That he , because again of self indulgence, refused to use a condom (again denying himself if he used one of that dopamine high he always got) and wound up having a child almost out of wedlock..and now there are two kids without a good dad in the world. I am praying the "good dad " part will still maybe one day become fact? But until that time, I know that a good mom is what my ds needs. A good set ofgreat grandparents, a good grandma, a good aunt and uncle, good bunch of cousins, and a good bunch of mommy's friends who love and pray for them! I am not a fan of the Mrs. Billary, but sometimes it takes a village...in the case of my ds...our extended family is what makes my family of two that awesome even more! And yet, with just us two, we feel complete.
I truly thank you for prayers and love. Thank you. We could not have made it these last few years without you.
And I pray that this holiday season, faith moves in the lives of the Ws...but real faith. Not faith, "it's the time to feel sentimental" stuff...that kind of false feelings, but real heartfelt change.
