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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508 |
I first posted here about 6 weeks ago. My wife of 10 years told me she wasnt "in" love with me anymore and that she felt she had lost herself.
She is now in couseling to find herself and things have improved between us greatly. I have been doing my best to fulfill her EN and it seems to be working.She is responding to my touch and feelings more.
She had removed her wedding band and diamonds but now she is wearing them again daily.When i try and express my concerns and feeling she responds that i need to chill out and let things happen naturally. She has been reading his/her needs slowly.
I had been super vigilant on surveylance of her and have found nothing but flirtation going on around her office. I have ruled out a EA or PA and have confronted several of her co workers(and her) about the unrespectful comments. She wasnt really mad as she knows i am very forward.She has also agreed to make sure things are done professionally and respectfully.
My delima is this. She still hasnt told me she loves me for the last 8 weeks or so and when i tell her i love her she says "i know you do". I am starting to be discouraged as most of the affection and EN being filled are hers and not mine. I am very worried about her inability to tell me she loves me. Do i need to have more patience and faith that this "in love" feeling will be restored with time or do i express my concerns and possibly put pressure on a situation?
I realize through this web site that i had negelected her for the last 4-5 years of our marriage and now i am taking the steps to put that away and fill her EN.The last 3 years have been a struggle (financially and emotionally)when i got sick and had to have treatments. Im fine now. But im sure this pressure on her has not helped our relationship.Is this common when lifes pressures and trials pop up?
Divorced 11/5/2013
FXWW EA 2005/2008/2010
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,719 |
I think her LB was running really low. It will take time for it to fill back p. When there is an illness in a family it can be very stressful. Maybe she came to a point where she needed attention after everything was taken care of with you and you did not see that at the time. I would still keep my eyes and ears out there for an EA. But she does seem to be coming around slowly which is good. Keep it up and give it more time. This is my view others here will be of more help.
married 21
Together 26 -
OW 2yrs, he worked with her and found secret e-mail account.The first cut is the deepest.
just found out H is a serial cheater - total cut to pieces now- saw a D lawyer today.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Did she have an affair? If so, with whom?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508
Member
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Member
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 508 |
No affair on her part just my PI taped some flirting going on.I Think i squashed all of that.I was vigilant because when i first posted here i had advise that red flags were there for an A.I have confronted all of that.
I had a EA and PA 5 years ago that was never confronted or resolved. We both knew we just chose to move on. Im sure this also has something to do with it as it has came up several times in the last 8 weeks.
Divorced 11/5/2013
FXWW EA 2005/2008/2010
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I gotcha. Good for you for investigating and confronting it head on before it evolved into an affair!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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