|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
[color:"blue"]Ok here is the situation. BF lives 25 miles/minutes away from me, his friends maybe 45 minutes (20 for him 45 for me). He has accepted invitations for me and for me and my children to 4 Christmas parties. Which means doing maybe 200 miles worth of driving and time in the car driving with the kids.
With Christmas being so close and shopping and cooking, etc to get done - I'm thinking four parties is a lot and I'm going to be tired tired tired. Plus add in all the driving (1 1/2 hours to 2 hours for each party).
My girlfriend suggested that maybe I should ask him to come and pick me up - that way he could drive and would see how much of my energy is spent on pursuing his parties.
While I'm rushing around to ready the kids for an outing and driving to meet him, he is taking a nap and relaxing while waiting for me to arrive.
It would be nice if I had the extra time to get ready at a leisurely pace.
Any other opinions, suggestions?
V.[/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308 |
Choices as I see them:
1) Decide how bad you want to go. If it's a priorty, see nummber two, if not, see number 3, if a little of both, see #4
2) Discuss with BF, perhaps he could drive to 2 (comprimise)
3) Don't go to any party.
4) Discuss and comprimise with BF. Which parties would YOU like to attend? Which would he like you to attend. Pick out the most important and go to as many as you can/like.
5) Break up with BF
6) Explain to BF (probably AGAIN) that you have the kids, etc and maybe he could help you out with some of the other things that you need help with to alleviate some of the stress and burden, if you will...
6)
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 268
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 268 |
Yikes, wow! You could mix and match maybe he picks up for one, you do one or maybe you meet at his house and he takes over from there? Can you decline any of the parties? It is snow season, too!
personal recovery
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 613
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 613 |
Margaritas. Lots of Margaritas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308 |
FR!!!
You just won a place in my heart!
My nickname is Dellarita for that very reason!
Sorry for hijacking v!
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
[color:"blue"] Drita - good suggestions thank you. I think he should share the burden especially since I'm always so worn out trying to keep up with him. He has more time to relax than I do. Thinking about it all now.
V.[/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
Margaritas. Lots of Margaritas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> [color:"blue"] Tsk tsk - drinking AND driving. They don't mix very well although Margaritas are my fav. V. [/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
Yikes, wow! You could mix and match maybe he picks up for one, you do one or maybe you meet at his house and he takes over from there? Can you decline any of the parties? It is snow season, too! [color:"blue"]We do meet at his house and he takes over. That was where the (conservative) 200 mile estimate comes into play - 4 parties - 50 miles round trip = 200 miles. Then we get into the car and drive to friends. Then we probably go back to his house and I leave from there or we leave from there after picking up his dog. I can decline - in fact I did decline last year to go to a few of these because I didn't want to schlepp in the dark/snow with the kids. He never seems to decline. V. [/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 5,247 |
Plan the first so that he comes over early. Maybe you go shopping together before the party, maybe he helps you with some baking or cooking....then you all get ready together for the party. He can see what you go through to prepare. Plus you all get to ride together the whole distance.
I think its nice that he includes you (and the kids)in his plans -- so you gotta take the good with the bad...
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308 |
He drives, YOU drink!!!! Problem solved! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 613
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 613 |
He drives, YOU drink!!!! Problem solved! See - Life can be simple! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> FR
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. Challenges can be stepping stones or stumbling blocks. It’s just a matter of how you look at them. The purpose of life is to live it, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 308 |
With margaritas in your belly life is ALL GOOD!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> J/K! (well, sorta!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> But we do have a tendency to complicate. Okay, alternate who drinks and who drives too... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,257
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,257 |
Be glad you have someone to enjoy the holidays with...lots of people are without. Who cares who drives where and when just enjoy one another.
Me, 43
DS18, DD12
Divorce final May 10, 2007
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
Be glad you have someone to enjoy the holidays with...lots of people are without. Who cares who drives where and when just enjoy one another. [color:"blue"]Well that was helpful - thanks. V. [/color]
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,302
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,302 |
Sunnyva39 - just choose the party - one or two that you would really love to go to and then decline the other ones - or heck have a party at your house and everyone can drive to you and see how far you have to go and then they will understand when or if you have to decline... Relax and enjoy...
Trying to Let myself find a life after four years of being divorced - Great at the mom thing.. Just not good at the "ME" thing....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 675 |
Sunnyva39 - just choose the party - one or two that you would really love to go to and then decline the other ones - or heck have a party at your house and everyone can drive to you and see how far you have to go and then they will understand when or if you have to decline... Relax and enjoy... [color:"blue"]Thanks, MAW - this is what I have decided to do actually. I will be too busy/tired to go to all of them. I just don't like to disappoint BF because if I were not around he would probably go to all of them. Oh and PS I told him I was going to pick and choose what to take the boy's to and he agreed that maybe we should just pick one or two. V. [/color]
|
|
|
Moderated by Ariel, BerlinMB, Denali, Fordude, IrishGreen, MBeliever, MBsurvivor, MBSync, McLovin, Mizar, PhoenixMB, Toujours
|
0 members (),
250
guests, and
87
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,040
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
