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Joined: Mar 2001
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[color:"blue"]BF's company is flying him to Vegas for a three day conference and he asked me if I wanted to go with him.
He said the room would be paid for by the company.
I would have to hire a sitter and pay air fare and judging by our normal thing probably most of my own meals.
Last time I travelled for my own company I had to pay a sitter $300 for 4 overnights.
So who should pay?
I asked him, what about the kids (mine) and what about air fare and food?
He sent me an email with the dates of the trip.
I replied with I can't go and I think you might have offered to pay if you wanted me to go.
V.[/color]
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V, Judging by your other posts, I'm not surprised that he didn't offer to pay for the babysitting, but some air-fare perhaps...? I'm in this same predicament with my guy...He's going to Hawaii and has asked me to go. I don't know how serious he is, but I would have to pay for the air fare and I was assume the dining would be the same as here, plus whatever extra I want. I don't have kids, so that expense is out, but I can't really afford to go (depending on if I have a job at the time or not...) So he's given you the options and now you have go from there... if you can't afford it, say so. If you can't afford it, I imagine you won't be able to go...too bad for you, but it is what it is.... Yes, his co is paying, but it's HIS co. I think it's gracious of him to ask you, but I think it depends on where you at in the relationship. Are you sure this fella is the one for you?
"As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same"- Nelson Mandella
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I think you're right--if he really wanted you to go, he would have offered to cover off your expenses, but on the other hand, maybe he felt that since the room was covered by the company, you could pitch in for the childcare. He could have also felt if he didn't ask you, you may have been upset with him, so it was best just to ask and let you make the decision.
This is difficult to answer because I don't know his financial situation--if you pay for things all the time and he's making lots of money, maybe he SHOULD offer to pay for your childcare. If he's financially strapped, maybe he's just trying to avoid confrontation if he doesn't invite you.
Did he respond to your email?
Married 6 years on July 23, 2011--no issues and deeply in love--thanks, MB!
I'm convinced that I'm married to the most wonderful man alive.... I hear and I forget. I see and I believe. I do and I understand. Confucius (B.C. 551-479)
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I used to travel a great deal for work, to lots of fun cities.
What I did was: fly in, do my business and then have my BF join me a couple days later. I would extend my trip over the weekend. That gave us extra "free" days to play, and he wasn't sitting bored by himself in a hotel room while I was in meetings.
I always paid for his airfare. For meals, we usually split it pretty evenly or he might pay more since he was getting a free trip.
As far as the kids go, I've never had to hire a babysitter. Usually family or my XH had my kids.
Is your XH unable to take the kids for those days?
I think it was quite rude of him to ignore your specific questions. I don't blame you for responding as you did.
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He pays all or he offers to pay half or 3/4 of all your expenses. Kind of creepy that he didn't already offer. Stick to your guns on this one!
Keep us posted!!
Me, 43 DS18, DD12 Divorce final May 10, 2007
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[color:"blue"]Well I don't have family in the area and the exWH moved 4 hours away - at the time I thought it was to be with his OW. So I have to pay a babysitter if I travel, or plan to travel when the kids are with dad.
I remember seeing several photo clusters of vacations that BF took with friends when he was dating his previous GF. She had children and didn't make a lot of cash.
He makes a lot of cash. I make a lot of cash.
Generally I try not to ask him to pay for stuff, but more and more I realized that he is very happy to let someone else pay and doesn't feel any need or guilt to reciprocate.
He is someone that would "forget" to pay you back but be genuine if you asked for the money and pay up. If you never mention it - he forgets. Selective memory loss?
He doesn't like to be alone so I'm sure the offer to go with him was so that he could have fun with me after the daily stuff was over.
He did email me back and say "of course I would have paid the air fare". Still can't afford a vacation at this time, so it's still a no go.
V. [/color]
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