Welcome to MB.
You should copy your post over to the Infidelity-General Question board as there is a lot more people there. It is the most active board on this website.
You should amend your post to include your age, how long have you been married and the dates you first suspected this affair. Your post makes it sound as though he has had 3 affairs but if this has been going on since last spring/summer with just one woman then it really is just one single affair. Am I mistaken??? Have there been other "friends" in his life?
Your spouses behavior is completely normal for a Wayward Spouse. Denial is the standard practice until you bust them convincingly. Your husband throwing blame at you is also quite common. His best defense is a good offense. You are likely to hear all the following:
You are too controling?
Now I really am going to have an affair?
I might as well do it since I am being accused of it?
Now you've done it, it's your fault I'm out of here?
I can have any friend I want?
ETC.
He will try to manipulate with anger to put you back into silience (IT WORKED TWICE NOW DIDN'T IT).
Now what to do. I think you may need to get more concrete evidence and then go to exposure. The first exposure is a "your busted" exposure. Then, without warning, if he doe not get his butt out of this relationship (which is unlikely...only happens in the movies) then you go to exposure, in one swoop to family and co-workers. See the Carrot and Stick of Plan A link in my signature line. It summarizes Plan A. You need to develope a plan here before you go off half-cocked and mess this up more. I am not saying this is your fault at all...but right now you are the only sane person in your marriage and if you want to save it you must develope and stick to a plan.
How to get proof ... go to Radio Shack and purchase a Voice Activated Digital Voice Recorder (not the cassette kind). They cost about $50 and pay with cash. Hide the receipt (you can return it within 30 days)...but hide it and never admit it is yours as it may not be legal in your state to do this. You then figure out how to use it properly and hide it in his car up and under the passenger seat. You will then likely get his cell phone conversations with OW or other friend of his that knows what is going on.
Additionally, you can snoop on his email and/or place keylogger program on your home computers.
You may not like what you hear or see. Be prepared as the information can be shocking but your husband is not himself right now. He is no longer your H as he is now your WH (wayward husband). He is fogged out by his addiction to OW and can not be looked to for honesty.
Read up here and develope your plan. There are tons of recovered marriages here and some failed ones. There are no guarantees here but with MB, you will make it...with or without your husband...you will make it.
Good luck,
Mr. Wondering
