So I did the whole shebang. I only had 4 matches and was very suprised by that. I don't live in a MAJORLY huge city, but it's fairly big. I live near Tampa and chose the metropolitan area within sixty miles.

I let the age range they chose for me stand. But all matches are in the very upper range of that so had I lessened it by five years and stayed within my own decade, I'd have only one match.

How many matches did you have initially and did any of them make you say, 'hmmmm, maybe', at first glance?

I'm not a fan of eHarmony.
I went so far as to put the whole US and got maybe 6 matches.

I have found that I get matches that live closer to me right before my subscription is to expire, or has expired.

The closest match ever, was 1 1/2 hours from me.

During my time on the site, I would get maybe 3 matches at a time, but most of the time it would come back with no matches.

I only began open communication with one guy. Never met him as he stated his life became "too busy". However, very recently, he tried to start conversation with me again, but my subscription had ended. I don't plan on re-newing.

Good luck, hope it works out better for you.
Karona

I'm like Karona...I would get 4 maybe 5 matches whenever they would email me that I had them. They would be an hour or so away or even several states away. Probably a total of 30-35 matches in the two months I belonged. I communicated with a total of 5 guys...one was extremely needy, one ended up being a player, and the others just kind of fizzled out. I deleted my profile there and never looked back.

I tried eharmony myself a while back, and got lots of matches, but found I just wasn't ready to commit to anyone. I have a good friend who is getting married next weekend, and she found him on eharmony. I remember she complained about the number of matches she got within houston, TX (big city), but she talked with each one, went out with 2 or 3, and found the one!!! She actually didn't like him too much the first couple of times she went out with in, but decided to give him a chance, and fell in love with him!!!!
KK

I am currently signed up with E-Harmony and have found that I'm not liking it. I have had about 6-10 matches, most are about an hour away. But what bothers me the most is that most do not have pictures and they never initiate or respond to communication. It makes me wonder if they really are true matches or just made up people. I mean I find it interesting that I can't seem to get anyone to communicate with me. I mean I am also doin "It's just Lunch" and most of the men I meet seem to appreciate my looks and want to communicate more, so why can't I get a response from E-Harmony men. My subscription is up at the end of this month and I won't be renewing.

I tried it for a while and got lots of matches. Many were to far either in terms of miles or time, or both. Interestingly, many of the women I met seemed to be looking for instant fireworks, chemistry or whatever. That is why I find the quote above so interesting. I met a number of women with whom I shared common interests, yet most of then decided there was no chemistry after meeting me for only 1 hour. OK, I am not a heart-throb hunk. But, I am not ugly, unshaven and dirty either. I remember the last women I met. We had a nice talk about many things we had in common. I decided to ask her out and she told me "Sorry, I don't have a romantic interest in you". This after meeting in person for one hour!

I guess the idea of developing a good frienship is old fashioned. Taking time to get to know somebody is old fashioned. Today's women want to be swept off their feet instantly by a great lover. To bad for them.

I also had no luck with eharmony. AFter the test the profile didn't sound like me at all.
And I don't think I got 6 matches in 6 months. I'm convinced that they "match" you with people who take the test, but who don't sign up for the service.
Good luck.

My Brother joined E-Harmony. He had no intention to do so, but after he created a profile, he received notification that someone was interested. Of course, he paid the fee and contacted the woman, but she never responded.

He's convinced it's a scam--he never received any further matches after that incident and eventually cancelled his membership.

A few weeks ago, there was a show on the radio discussing this. Apparently, it's VERY common that these dating services provide fake contacts to lure people into buying a membership.

Very sad.

I went through eHarmony at one point in time. I was not impressed. I had a few matches each week, had correspondence with a couple through the first two levels, and found that there were "deal breakers" in each situation. Ones that I had been very clear about.

Also, I don't like it that they don't have photos right upfront. I am a heavy woman. I know that's not appealing to most men. That's ok. But, I'd rather have them know it upfront...then later... since it's a deal breaker for many. I wrote an email to eHarmony to that effect. Their response was that often when people get to know each other as people first, the physical part isn't that significant. I disagree!

I don't want to get to know someone first, and then find out that it's my weight that's a problem. That hurts. Don't waste my time or theirs on something that isn't acceptable.

Needless to say, I left the site.

I'm going to slowwwwwly try Match.com again. Prior to this go-round, I'd tried it and corresponded with several local men. Match seems to do well here. (I'm in the Heartland.) I went out with 3 men from it, all very nice...and saw one exclusively for a couple of months, before a dealbreaker surfaced and meeting my Ex-H. But I would consider it a positive experience for me.

Of note, guess I can't say anything because I'm returning to it myself...but I'm surprised to see so many of the same faces utilizing the site. Apparently some people use it for continuous dating leads, not necessarily for finding "the one?"

[color:"blue"]Lucks,

I saw the same thing in my area - a handful of hard core daters that never seemed to find "the one".

At one point I thought a good strategy was to look for the newest profiles in my searches. Fresh to the meat market - maybe serious - the serious ones find someone and settle in fairly quickly I thought.

V. [/color]

I found the same thing on match, the same guys are on from 1 1/2 years ago. It's scary.
However, I'm near a very large metro area, NYC, and I still don't seem to get a lot of correspondence going.

I am on eHarmony now and I haven't been impressed. I have had several matches but most of them end up in my "closed" area. I only have 5 on my list now and most of them haven't even tried to start communication with me. Or we get to the communication stage and they never send me an e-mail. I've only talked to 3 guys on the phone and haven't met anyone. My 3-month membership ends this month and I won't be renewing. It's been a waste of time.

Some of the guys that I was matched with seem to hook-up. I don't see how. Maybe there are more women than men in there. That wouldn't surprise me.

Successful match.com experience here.

A few months after my divorce in 2002 I tried out match.com for a little while and had some luck. I'm from NW Florida so the pickin's can be slim.

I had several matches and met a few, but nothing really clicked. In the mean time I hooked up with someone the old fashioned way for a while and was off of match.com.

The next summer (2003) I was back on match.com and hit the jackpot.

Married in May 2004 and quite happy.

In the meantime I am still friends with some of the ladies I met and I recently attended one of their weddings. I also received an email after almost a year from someone I had contacted on match.com.

A lot of it is timing. Some people just aren't ready or are unsure.

My blushing bride captured my curiousity and I set up a date. I managed to get her trapped on an island with me for a whole day. No instant fireworks, but we learned a lot about each other and continued the date into the evening with dinner and a stroll through the seaside town we were at.

By the end of the week it was all over and we both knew we were headed to the altar. Married 10 months later in a big wedding and still going stong after 19 months of marriage.

Still on after a year? Could be a serial dater, could be they aren't willing to settle for just anyone.

Maybe they can't see the forest through the trees.

My wife was not looking for someone like me. She was looking for someone with my qualities, but expected them to be expressed in ways similar to her dad and brother. Without the time to find out about me she never would have realized I was what she was looking for just in a different package.

You have to go deeper than the surface and you have to be honest with yourself. How can you know someone else if you do not know yourself?

I know what you mean about the people who are always on Match for a year or more. In my area there is a woman who, assuming her photos are accurate and current, is amzingly HOT! She also seems, based upon her written profile, to be intelligent, personable and an all around great person. Yet, though she is on match and almost always active in the last 24 hours. I don't get it. On paper, she should have been scooped up a long time ago. I always wonder what her problem is.

Scrum, you have said some great stuff. As I have said in other messages, I am amazed at the women who decide against a guy because there is no instant chemistry or fireworks. I don't think that the online services have any way of short cutting the getting-to-know-you process. It takes time, and those that look for instant, quick results should probably try looking at the local fast-food outlet.