Today i asked wife to talk about her affair. i asked her some questions.

i asked her why the contacts stop between them, she told me because she felt it was not right to do so later , so the contact stopped.

i almost do not believe this answer is true. i want to call op to confirm it, please tell me should i do it or just let it go and asked wife at a later time again?

hope to get your answer soon.
thanks

Probably not OP will most likely lie to you anyway. Just My .02

based on the wife's answers to my other questions. i m quite sure the reason for NC is absolutely not like what wife told me.

i m just so curious to know the reason, what happended between them, why this op stopped the contact with wife?

should i have such reason to know the truth?

He will likely lie to you, but on the other hand she may be lying to him and calling him will reveal any lies she told him. If you call him make sure you tell him what your W said and that she is recommitting to her marriage.

Pinetree,

If there is inconsistency between what your wife says and what the OM says what will you do? Are you going to believe the man you are trying to get out of your life or are you going to believe the woman you are trying to enable to be in your life?

Rather than concentrate on getting the truth from your wife RIGHT NOW concentrate on rebuilding your marriage. If you succeed the truth will come out!

Do not mistake me for saying take wife at face-value. You are entitled to check up on and confirm the affair is over.

I have always felt that in many ways the OM or OW basically plays a large part in the affair but a small role in the recovery. The smaller the better so I detest all attempts to get them back on the stage.

hi, thank you for your reply.
I think the main reason that i want to call op is that i want to give him a signal that wife began to disclose her affair to me.

i assume that the reason why NC between wife and this op is:

op shut door towards wife because op wanted wife to marry him , however wife could not make this decision due to wife can not fully trust this op although she loves him very much. op is angry about it, so the wife was shut outside of door of the op.
i do feel that wife is dreaming that one day the op will give her a call. because she does miss this op very much.

i do not know if the op will restart contact with wife later, but i just feel if now i tell him what wife has told me on other day, which maybe further wake up their fantacy, even if they both resume the contact later, which only increase mistrust between each other.
any suggestion here?