hi all i know some of the good people here good give me some good advise. xw had an affair with coworker and is still with him xw divorce me to be with om. me and the xw had a very bad divorce which i didnt want be she wanted it. my question is me and the xw wife are starting to talk again on friendly terms. she brought the kids to visit me which i now live 5hrs away she didnt want me to come to the other state where i used to live with her. i didnt see my oldest child my xw tell me she is mad at mad and the really hurt me but i didnt let it show. my other kids i took them out and they had good time but i hated to see them leave. my xw will not tell me where she is living with the kids she tells me to give it time.i didnt want to ask my kids because she tells them to dont tell me anything. but i know she has moved in with the other man which i dont want him around my girls. and in the state where my xw lives the courts dont allow that om has threaten to hurt me when i caught him and xw having there affair. what sould i do since me and the xw are on good terms again. sould i take her to court to find out where my kids are and to get this guy away from my kids. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> and no i dont have custody and visitation because i was not at the divorce final hearing. but i paychild support on time.also ex dosent didnt like that iam doing good for myself.ex still blames my on all that happen which iam not buying.

If you don't know where she and your kids live, how are you able to send the child support payments?

If your XW is deliberately keeping you from court appointed visits with your kids then she is breaking the law and must be made accountable for her actions.

If you have proof positive that the OM has threatened you, then you must file a police report just in case something bad happens to you then they will have a prime suspect to go after.

This forum can provide you with emotional support but it is no substitute for sound legal counsel which is what you should be seeking if you want to establish regular contact with your children.

TMCM

How in the world did you allow all of this? Please let me know, as I am unsure on how to advise. it appears by your post that you handed your kids over to the OM by not fighting for them.

In His arms.

The alimony and custody arrangement the court imposed is always subject to modification, especially when you were not there and not represented the last time.

GET AN ATTORNEY.

Mr. Wondering

child support comes out of my pay check. i dont have court appointed visits beacause when i moved away the divorce got final with me knowing the courts could not find me.

please tell me how i handed over my kids to the om. the kids leave with there mom. read my other reply. thanks

Sorry...I do not remember your story. I am just trying to figure out how she was allowed to leave with the kids.

In His arms.

look up some of my old topics. she move with the kids.

She left the state??? That is illegal.

In His arms.

no i left the state for a better work.

Okay that explains it. I am not sure why you would do this, is what I was saying above...because what it meant is that you got better work, and the OM got your kids. I'm not trying to beat you up...just trying to understand your sitch and what you are trying to do now.

In His arms.

Move back near your children and get involved in their lives day to day .... they need you

i didnt let the om have my kids. that is not the question i ask in my post. if the om is there with there mom what can i do please tell me that. we are now divorce will the judge tell me thta she can have anyone in her life.

youre right.i will be moveing back there but right now i just cant do that money wise. now my question was not answer in my post sould i take her to court. we just start talking on civil grounds. if i have to take her to court i will no problem.

Let me ask a question. You may have answered this on a previous thread. But please indulge me...as I truly want to understand your situation.

First, your wife decided to have an affair and leave you. You decided to move away without your kids with you. Why? Why leave your kids with a woman who has shown that she isnt a good mother. A good mother doesnt commit adultery and leave their dad. Why did you not seek custody of the kids?

My second question is...for whatever reason that you left your kids with your wife and moved away...did you not suspect that she would/could end up with OM, thus leaving your kids with the OM as their key male adult in their daily lives?

EEMD, I say again...I am not beating you up here. But in order to figure out where you should go, I need to understand where and why you have been.

In His arms.

i did have joint custody but once the divorce was final and i was not there and didnt know about the final date i lost custody. but i got copies of the decree. it say custody and visition is reserved.i had to move because i was almost living in the street. i didnt want to leave at all. now what can i do to get this guy away from my kids.

A good mother doesnt commit adultery and leave their dad. Why did you not seek custody of the . youre right when i told the judge what she doing he ask her and she lied and the judge told her that she better not be doing that.

yes i did suspect that om would there around my kids but i didnt know what to do courts seem to dont care. what can i do now to stop it.

Gonna have to fight, my man. The past is the past. You need to take charge of the future.

First, you are going to have to get back close to your kids. Move as soon as possible. You re going to have to get back in their lives on a daily basis.

Now, I dont know anything about the OM. If there is anything in his background that might help (arrests, etc).

Water is under the bridge and he is now there. You may not be able to get him out of there for awile.

I would concentrate on getting into their day-to-day lives first. Then, doing a good Plan A type stuff with your XW. It will cause problems with them, which is always good. You two may never get back together. But you need to do these in order to solidiy things.

There is much more you can do. but until you get these started, they cant be started.

In His arms.

thanks for youre help. iam going to get things started with the courts for i can have my rights with my kids. because right now i have no rights at all.