We're not big churchgoers in our family but there's something about the season that brings us there. DD, a friend and I just got back from a Christmas candlelight service. We went to an old Swedish pioneer church not far from my house. My Swedish ancestors in this area used to go there. This church hasn't had a steady congregation since World War I. However, one of the local Lutheran churches keeps the place up. It's used mostly for weddings, burials and a few special services. My cousin helped us get tickets.
The church was founded in the 1880's, which is old for this area. There's no electricity or running water. It's a simple place heated by an old coal stove. The organ has to be pumped. It's painted stark white with hard wooden penches. There's little decoration except a line of blue flowers stenciled around the top of the walls and "Glory to God in the Highest" written in Swedish above the alter. Tonight it was fill with family, music and good cheer.
So, what makes this night and service so different?
Last year, was the first time we went to this service. DS#2, DD, the same friend, WH and I attended. That was about a month after D-day. It was beautiful and peaceful. WH claimed to enjoy it. The rest of us sure did.
Later that night, I caught WH in the closet talking on his cellphone to OW. Not pleasant. I confronted him. I confronted her. WH left the house. He has not spend another night with me, in this house or not, since then. If you don't know the story, you can imagine it. Christmas last year was very, very rough.
This year, I sat letting the beauty of the service fill my body and tears fill my eyes. I had several reasons for going this year. I wanted to have closure on the happenings a year ago. I wanted to have this as a family tradition. Another reason is that God has actually spoken to me this year and I wanted to give thanks.
And what was the sermon about? Boy, oh boy, did I stay awake for this one. The reverend preached about rebuilding. He talked about coming out of mourning and starting anew. He placed it in the context of tsunami and earthquake survivors and people who lost love ones this year. I don't think he knew he was speaking directly to my heart. I have lost a loved one but not exactly the same way. It was a message to me. I don't know what else to say.
Blessings to everyone else this season.
