Yes, it is. WSs must justify their affairs. So they do this by finding fault in BS and blaming BS for everything. They all do this. Do not take her seriously right now. She is in a deep fog.

Let me suggest you read as much as you can on this site in the next few days while doing the things I suggested above. There is much to be learned. For now, if I were you I would read on Plan A and some of the longer threads in this forum. Gramm and Hopethisworks' sitches are good starting point.

I have tried, but she will have none of it. She is borderline hating me. This is her second affair on me. It worked the first time, but she seems to be calloused to it this time.

You have tried what?

Plan A.

For how long? You should still try to Plan A until you go to Plan B. It will be hard but useful. I do not mean to be a doormat though.

So do the things delineated above and see what happens. I am going to sleep, but will check up on you tomorrow. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Springfield. Sounds like you have a chance though. Mine will not even say she loves me at all anymore. She actually will say she can't wait till it is over. Most of her family will not even speak to her.
It is hard enough to get over if the WS is remorsful and all, but when they are hurtful and mean...well, sometimes you almost feel relieved that it may be over.

OSU, the "alien" that has abducted your wife is not the person you "negotiate" with, much less sign any papers for.

Take everything to an attorney right now. You have to make a decision right now if you want to try to fight for your marriage or if this second affair of your wife's is the "wake up call" that her heart is hardened in sin.

Either way, you cannot control HER actions, so you need to be focused on the children first of all. THEY are your and you are their father, and you need to be "assuming the worst" and doing everything you can to protect them from the "alien" who is NOT their mother.

Your wife is trying to cast you in the light of the "bad guy." And you are cooperating with her. We all know the pain you are going through and the "conflict avoidance" that seems "easier."

Your wife has already ended the marriage in her mind, and it's time you started being realistic that EITHER recovery is going to be long and difficult road or divorce is going to be long and difficult road. Neither way is "easy." So now you have to choose and you have to put on a "thick skin" and be a "man." It sucks and it hurts, but your wife has "scripted" this play.

Frankly, I don't see Plan A working for you. This is her SECOND affair and you need an attorney to be the "bulldog" for you in preparing to hold her accountable for her choices and her actions. If you are going to attempt to recover your marriage, the affair must end FIRST. So it would seem that a Plan B sort of separation is in order so that she gets ALL of her needs met by the OM and you protect your remaining love for her and also protect your children from her selfishness.

Get an attorney and start playing "hardball." Unless, of course, you just want to abandon your children to her unselfish loving care for them.

God bless.

What a tough situation to be in.

I agree with all the comments so far. Get home. It's easier to stay there and take your next steps, no matter what they are, from this position of strength. Voluntarily leaving makes it easier for W to continue with her plans if she has you out of the house.

I need to ask a question. Does WW have a reason to be so negative towards you? If you haven't burned all your bridges due to past actions, it's still possible to make your marriage work although with her feeling so much negative towards you, it will be a long journey.

strength is required

Believe me....she is NOT "moving on"...without meaning to sound callous and I realize it doesn't change how you feel: but it isn't about you (rejecting you). The A is about her.

If she is continuing this behavior, she is just moving farther along a road to personal distruction and farther away from anything that resembles true love.

Well, it hit the fan tonight. I stopped by the house to get some things and hopefully talk, but what did I find? Her and the OM!! I lost it (it's been building). I chased him out the front door he got into the car, I puched out the window to get at him, but he drove off too quick. Thank God for that, I might have gotten myself in serious trouble. After he drove off,she attacked me, slapping & hitting me in the face. I pushed her away and she fell. But not bad she didn't get hurt. But boy, did she ever call the cops. After they caught her embelishing her story, they seemed more sympathetic towards me. But I'm pretty safe to say, that is the final straw.

Have you made an appointment with a lawyer yet? You need to get one ASAP. She may soon try to get a restraining order against you and screw you up some more.

This incident should make clear to you that she does not have your best interest in mind right now. Proceed accordingly.

You need to expose to her family, OMW, your family and mutual friends ASAP.

Best.

I am going to the lawyer first thing this morning. And you're right, her true character is shining through. I can't comprehend how someone you loved can turn like this. It is beyond me and the hardest part to digest. I have had enemies that haven't done me this way.
I told her this has to be exposed as she says it is just a way for me to get revenge...it really ticks her off.

(((((osuguy)))))

No one can hurt you the way someone you love can.

It's part of the vulnerability of love.

The woman you see is NOT your wife. She is an alien who has taken control of your wife's body. Regardless, you can't "reason" with an alien, you have to protect yourself and your children.

The legal proceedings will "Force the Issue," but you cannot control her choices and actions. So plan for the worst, hope for the best, and rely on God to be with you and the children as your wife is in open and direct disobedience of His commands.

God bless.