Hi - It has been a long time since I have been here, but I still see some familiar names around!
The last time I posted, I was over in Infidelity. That marriage ended over a year ago and I moved on.
I met a beautiful and wonderful woman at work. We have had a GREAT start and got married back in September.
Before we got married we lived together in my corporate apartment, after marriage I moved in to her house. Her mother, whom I get along with fine, also lives in the house, and this does not cause us any conflict, but probably bears mentioning.
Shortly before we got married, while we were still in my apartment, she mentioned that she was starting to feel disconnected from me, she said that she still loved me very much, but didn't feel that intimate connection that she once had. We talked about it, and I thought that we had resolved it. (Otherwise, the marriage probably wouldn't have taken place)
About a week before Thanksgiving, I wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to kiss her because I didn't want her to get sick too. Then she started saying that she felt like I didn't love her anymore, and that I didn't want her. I didn't really change any of my other actions toward her. We have always had a kind of playful relationship, and I try to show her in little playful ways that I still want her. I will pat her on the butt, or grab her by the arm and pull her to me and kiss her, but she still says that it's not the same as it was. Again, when I felt better, we were intimate and I thought things were better. Then about a week ago I started feeling under the weather, and avoided kissing to keep her from getting sick.
Last night I took her to the movies and we sat together and held hands and snuggled during the whole show. When we got home and were getting ready for bed, I put on my shorts as I always do, and she looked at me coyly and said: "Why are you putting those on, you won't need them?" I got excited and went to brush my teeth anticipating some intimacy, I even threw a towel back into the room and said; "here, you're gonna need this" she laughed and put the towel on the nightstand. We finished watching our show, and I turned over to get things rolling, and she wouldn't even kiss me! She said she feels disconnected! She said sorry turned over and said good night. So I just lay there, kind of in shock! After about 10 minutes, she turned on the TV and wathced TV until 2 AM, I couldn't sleep and kept tossing and turning, trying to give her a hint, but I was too angry to say anything. (I might mention here that after a little more than a year together, we still have not really had an argument)She finally turned the TV off and we both went to sleep.
This morning, she blew up at me on the way to work, (we still work in the same office and ride to work together) saying that she wants the man that she fell in love with back! I really don't know why she feels this way. I still love her very much, and I try to do things for her to show her that I do. (I am a veteran MBer so I know all of the LB's and EN's and have been practicing all of it) I definitely tell her that I love her often, so it's not about an outward show. I am constantly telling her how beautiful she is, and regularly complement her on her clothes and hair. I buy her flowers and have them sent to her desk, just because. But now, I really don't know where to go from here. It is true that her EN for SF is stronger than mine, but I never say no to her advances, and sometimes make advances on her even when I really don't feel like it, because I know that she needs that. All other EN's seem to be met very well.
Help me please!!!
Sorry for the extra long post!
Last edited by r0uter; 12/12/05 11:10 AM.
