I've been divorced after a 3 year marriage for 4 months. For a while now I've admired a fellow co-worker. She also went through a divorce following the same timeframe as mine. While I am attracted to her there has always been something that has turned me off. A lack of chemistry perhaps.

Regardless, friends have insisted that I ask her out and have tried to set me up with her. Last week some friends from work got together and we all went out. To cut the story short, I wound up making out with her. When I went back to work the next day I felt awkward, considering the fact that I still feel we have no chemistry. However, I have found that I am growing increasingly jealous of her and her admiration for another co-worker of mine. This co-worker was one of the guys who tried to set me up with her, but as it turns out she and him seem to be hitting it off quite well and went out last night. I'm kind of hurt because he was trying to set me up with her but now wants to go out with her. Yet I really have no desire to have a relationship with her and have expressed to my friends that there is no "connection" between us.

How do I stop myself from falling for someone who I really don't want to fall for? Why am I feeling this way towards someone that I really don't want to have a relationship with?
Do people coming out of a divorce tend to fall for others faster then they should?

It seems that my feelings for this girl is irrational. I feel no chemistry towards her, but I am attracted to her and feel jealous of what my friend is doing. Plus I feel awkward because all three of us work together.I'm guessing my controlling and jealous behavior stems from the fact that I am still healing from the divorce?

I'm hurt and confused..

That's a tough one...
What was your dating life like BEFORE you got married? Did you do the same thing then?
I used to fall fast and hard, but my hand is a nub now because I stuck it in that fire too many times!
I think you need to sit down and make a list of qualities you are looking for in a person. Also, what do you want? Are you ready for a relationship? If so, what do you wish to gain from a relationship? Ideally?
To know yourself is going to be key, if you ask me. You can't know what you want until you know who you are. And it's hard for the SO to know what you want if you don't know... make sense?
I think it's time for some soul searching for you... take some time and find out who you are and what you have to offer and what you want...

I think part of the problem is that usually when I "make out" with someone it usually either leads to sex or some sort of loyalty from the other person, i.e. girlfriend. In this case it didn't. I shouldn't have done it and I feel let down and offended that it's not going to lead to anything. It's the first kiss I've had since my divorce so that was part of the reason I did it. I just couldn't pass a chance up. In the end it backfired on me.

This might also be a good opportunity to think about the risk that you take when dating within your workplace. If/When things don't work out, you still have to have a working relationship w/ that person.

Just my $0.02

I agree with Alone. The problem isn't that you made out with her, the problem is that she is a coworker and you have to see her with another coworker. Very awkward!

Give yourself some time to heal. You are still on an emotional rollercoaster whether you realize it or not. And, for what it is worth, I hope you enjoyed the making out. Making out is not the same as having sex.

Oh, I suggest reading the book "In the Meantime". You're right smack into the meantime and you might as well understand what you are going through. It is part of the learning process. Yes, making out with this gal was part of the process in which you learn about yourself and what you want and need. I wish all my classes were that good.