Dear all,
Thanks for reading, I am really not here to request opnions but to actually give an update.
Husband was dumped, and in the worst way ever by OW. Yes, now it's been confirmed, there was OW. The worst of it all is who she was and what she was.
Husband started telling friends how much he missed me and how he wanted to talk to me, and YES of course I did too. But eeeeeeverybody was telling me -DON'T CALL, DON'T SEE HIM, WAIT WAIT WAIT - but noooooo, my feelings were stronger and it was getting harder to turn him away each time he would call inviting me out, ha! funny part was that it only took 5 calls for me to go and see him -of course my mother saw how badly I wanted to see him - so she told me -FINE GO, BUT IF YOU DON'T HEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, LEAVE!!- did I listen??? NOOOOO!
When I saw him I saw him sooo little and so devastated that at the beginning I felt to high in the sky that nothing could make me fall, but as soon as he started crying I held back but with so many tears and words of I'M SORRY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON, THE PERSON THAT YOU LEAST EXPECT PUT ME IN MY PLACE LIKE I NEVER THOUGHT THEY WOULD - anyways, still he told me I'M CONFUSSED, I DON'T WANT THE DIVORCE, PLEASE GIVE ME TIME, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT- he confirmed this several times while crying, and as I tried to leave two times he stopped me and told me, please stay longer, so I did!!!! We left the coffee shop and went for drinks, I must say that for moments I felt in heaven but for moments I saw him like a loser. I guess I wasn't strong enough, many times I put myself very high and few times I would laugh and we would remember old times.
We stayed until 1:00 am on a Thursday night, the next day he calls wanting to see me again, so theeeere I goooo again, thinking -is he going to tell me something different that yesterday after he saw me?? - so I needed to find out. Well, did he??? NOOO. But we started flirting, he gave me wine and kind of got me drunk and I did the same thing as the day before, I put myself high and then as a loving wife. By then I started seeing him "differently", no longer such of a loser, just a weak and vulnerable man. We talked about how good sex was for him and said -BELIEVE, NO BODY, BUT NOBODY WILL EVER DO OR WILL DO WHAT YOU DID, NOBODY IS BETTER THAN YOU - that kind of should made me wake up, right?? DID I?? NOOOOO. But there I was still trying to hear something that gave me hope and he "kinna did, but told me several times I don't want to mess you up again, please give me time, I am confussed. Yeap, the CONFUSSED WORD came up many times. Little did I know that the word confussed meant - I DON'T WANT THIS BUT I MISS YOU THAT'S ALL, I MESSED UP - After three months I was back IN "my" house. It was a very awkward moment, weird, and at the same time "happy". Sad to say that after having three glasses of wine I started telling him how much he hurted me and he took it all and only cried and cried, saying -I DESERVE IT- but some how we jumped from pain to OK. We hugged and hugged and hugged and he told me again, -PLEASE GIVE ME TIME- and I asked him -when do I sign the papers?- he said AM I ASKING YOU FOR THEM? HAVE I CALLED YOU FOR THEM? NO, THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING, I DON'T WANT THEM, I DON'T WANT THE DIVORCE RIGHT NOW- So we hugged and I told him. He asked me if I was going to say something to anyone and stupid me said NO, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS IS, SO WHEN I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY, I'LL SAY SOMETHING- We were happy together, that was obvious. He said that he had a family that he let go and regrets it.He told his boss he had a "date" with his wife and he praised him and he even seemed happy to had said that. So he tells me, why did you park your car in the street? - I tell him -because this is not my house- and he starts crying and crying saying -IT IS, IT IS YOUR HOUSE, YOU ARE STILL MY WIFE AND THIS IS YOUR HOUSE- He said many nice things of how much he was appreciating me. Yeah, nice right?? keep on reading.
So, here comes Saturday did I hold myself back??? NOOO. So I call him and tell him, I'll see you in 30 mins (I lied to my parents telling them I was going to the gym, I'm a 32 year old woman that called her mom for support because I could not bear the pain alone). So when I tell him this, he says -WHAT FOR?- and I said, ok, fine then some other time, and he replies quickly -JUST KIDDING, DO COME- , so I rushed down the stairs and left. It was 11:00 am and told my mom I would be back at 4o'clock the latest. That was going to be the longest work out ever, right?? My mom and Dad are not dumb, they knew where I was going to be.
My intentions were to take him to the gym, but he had been sick and did not feel good, that was another excuse to go and see him (BUMPS HER HEAD AGAINST THE DESK).
So there I was, back in the house, feeling a bit more confortable. So this time I do park in the driveway. Feeling happy of neighbors watching me park and knock on the door. It was a nice moment. But then I remembered the parties he had and of the things I heard he did in the house. But I stood there and for a moment I was about to turn around and leave, I should've. So, he opens the door and receives me in shorts a T-SHIRT, did not brush his teeth, and with a cap on. Hmmm. But I was in my sweats since I was going to the gym, so I had an excuse. So as I walk behind him to get in the house I observe his walk and he was walking more of a WINNER than of a loser. I didn't like that, and made me think LEAVE, LEAVE - once again, DID I LEAVE??? NOOOOOO. We talked more and it was all the same, he prepared breakfast and we watched MR & MRS SMITH, we laughed and at moments I caught him watching me, it felt nice, good and everything in between. I was about to leave around 1:00 and he said, please, stay. So I sat on the corner of the sofa and told him, OK, FINE, TELL ME SOMETHING, I AM HERE AFTER THREE MONTHS, YOU SO MUCH WANTED THIS CHANCE, SO I'M HERE - and he tells me -I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, LOOK, IF YOU ARE HERE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT I MUST TELL YOU THAT I HAVE NOT CHANGED MY MIND- I got upset and told him -WELL, CAN'T SAY I DIDN'T TRY ONCE AGAIN- and he rephrased that saying, that's the problem, that it's always you trying to make things work, always giving second chances and I can't respond to you like I wish I could - so I got up, grabbed my bag and he started telling me, please don't go, please stay, let's talk - so I told him -I've heard enough- so I close the door and yeah, his poor intentions to keep me there were very poor. He opens the door and tells me -well at least give me a kiss before you leave - so I do! I go back into my car all outraged and drove away, didn't go very far because I remembered the MB's concepts, so I returned.
When he sees me at the door he tells me -WHAT'S UP?- and I tell him -LET'S TALK- so he lets me in and we stay in the entrance and sit on the couch and tells me WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?, YOU WANTED TO LEAVE ON THURSDAY, YOU JUST LEFT AND I ASKED YOU TO STAY - so I felt kind of guilty because it remembered me of old bad times when I used to grab my bags because of the sh$%# that he did to me. So I tell him, YES, YOU TELL ME TO STAY BUT ELSE IS TO STAY?, YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING DIFFERENT AND I WANT IT ALL, I DESERVE IT ALL- we calmed down and we hugged when I was "suppose" to leave, and I ask him -FOR THE THIRD AND LAST TIME I'LL ASK YOU THIS, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT THIS? - and this time he doubted and said -NO, I DON'T KNOW, I'M CONFUSSED, PLEASE GIVE ME TIME, I DON'T KNOW- and we both cried.
Here comes what "WE SHOULD NEVER DO" - while he kept on crying he kissed me several times on the head (he's very tall) and so I grab him from the neck and pull him to me to kiss him (he had talked about how much he so much wanted to do kiss me and make love to me) so I tried and he told me -NO HONOEY, BABY, NO, DON'T DO THIS, NO- and I begged for a kiss, I told him, please just one and he started to behave like if it was a game and I said, fine, then let's not and he tells me -PLEASE, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I DON'T WANT TO, I DESIRE YOU, AND WANT TO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO HUSRT YOU AGAIN- so I tell him, I only want to see what I feel and he rejected me kindly and I started crying and said the GUILT TRIP MAGIC WORDS THAT I SO MUCH KNEW WOULD WORK - how stupid I am, forget it, you don't want to kiss me and here I am begging to you for a kiss - and he tells me -NO, NO, PLEASE DON'T, GOD!, NO HONEY, I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I DON'T DESIRE YOU, YOU MAKE ME HOT AND I AM ALREADY HOT BUT IF I KISS YOU I WON'T STOP AND I WILL TAKE YOU TO BED - and I started laughing and told him -IT'S ONLY A KISS, I DON'T WANT SEX- and we kinna started flirting and getting excited and so he tells me -SHOULD WE?, IT'S NOT RIGHT - and I say -THEN IT'S NOT- and he tells me BUT I WANT TO and I say THEN LET'S and we played that game for a while and we stopped, so I hold his leg (it felt nice) and I told him -HONEY, LET YOURSELF BE HAPPY, JUST LET IT HAPPEN- and he tells but I don't know what to do?? tell me what to do?!! - and I tell him -I ALREADY TOLD YOU, LET'S BE HAPPY, WE HAD IT ALL AND YOU LET IT GO- and he says, let's give it time and I tell him - ok- so I get up and tell him -WELL, I GOTTA GO- and he says, please don't go, sit, I like how we talk. So I sit and he grabs my hands and tells me -LET ME SEE YOUR HANDS- and he places my left hand on his right leg between his lap and knee and as I touch him he tells me -IT FEELS SO GOOD WHEN YOU TOUCH ME, I FEEL HAPPY - and so we just staired at each other for a while and we both would say WHAT? and I started telling him IT'S NICE AND YOU LIKE NICE and he tells me AND YOU LOOK GORGEOUS and he tells me -STAY WITH ME, LET'S GO TO THE ROOM AND GO TO SLEEP - (yeah right, and I'm Snow White). Funny thing; Snow White accepted and followed him to the room (he was already very excited). And as we lay down he tells me -take of your shoes- my first thought in that bedroom was WHO HAS BEEN HERE BESIDES ME? I started to not feel confortable. So anyways, I ask him -DO YOU FEEL "BETTER" (refering to his excitement) and tells me -NO, COME HERE- and so we start to kiss and hug and I struggle to not let it happen and he tells me if this is just sex then let's do it, but I want to make love to you but I don't think it's a good time right now. We struggled and gave up and gave in and gave up and gave in. He masturbated me and when it was my turn something came over me and I said -WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING, HOW MANY WOMEN HAVE BEEN HERE BEFORE YOU, WHAT IF HE'S SICK? FREE WILL, FREE WILL, IF IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT IT'S NOT RIGHT- so I look at him and say I CAN'T DO THIS, I HAVE TO GO- so as I rush up the bed he asks me all concerned if I was fine and I said yes I JUST HAVE TO GO and once I was dressed I wanted to kiss him for the last time and did and I put my hips against his and let my self fall on the bed again but I stopped, looked at him and said to myself -REMEMBER THIS-So I left, I give him a kiss on the cheeck and leave.
That same night he goes out and meets three girls, he gets infatuated with one of them and tells my friend she is gorgeous and beautiful, my friend looks at the picture and tells him how really ugly she was and tells him -FACE IT MANNY, YOU WON'T FIND ANOTHER WIFE LIKE YOURS-
On Sunday night after confessing to my parents what I did and to my friend and her mother they were all kicking my butt and my mom finally confessed and so did my friend. HE LEFT ME FOR A DRUG-ADDICT SECRETARY, ILLEGAL, UGLY AS CAN BE AND FROM A RAZE THAT HE SO MUCH HATES - go figure. I felt humiliated, and embarrased, outraged and all there is. I felt betrayed by him. He did not tell me all this during those three days. Now I understand why he told me the things he did and why he wanted the divorce so bad, and why was mad at the end of our marriage. YOU KNOW WHY??? BECAUSE SHE CHEATED ON MY HUSBAND WITH HER HUSBAND EVENTHOUGH SHE HAD ALREADY LEFT HIM FOR MY HUSBAND AND YET MY HUSBAND STILL FORGAVE HER -
Is this low or what??? I felt so embarrased to ask him for a kiss and to be SNOW WHITE.
Some how I knew this, because I once went for my H to his work and a girl was walking right behind him and when he kissed me so passionately it made me wonder WHY SO MUCH PASSION? and I turn around and see the girl in her car looking straight at us -it gave me the chills- and he asks me for two more passionate kisses and when I turn around again she puts her head down and leaves quickly. It was the secretary.
So, anyways, they are no longer together because she realized that he didn't have all the money she thought he had and because he could not give her lagal papers and because he could not make her the big star she thought he could. She dumped him.
NOW I UNDERSTAND THE CALLS AND THE TEARS. I REGRET EVERY SINGLE MOMENT.
Cheated SPOUSES don't give in. Hold on. We were cheated because we are nice people and the people that cheated on us wanted people with B-A-L-L-S; NOT SOME NICE HOUSEWIFE OR SPOUSE.
Now I want the divorce, I can not be married to him, he accepted a junkie what he had told me that IF HE EVER LEFT ME IT WOULD BE FOR SOMETHING BETTER THAN ME -
How sad.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
