I haven't been here in a while. I'm 7 months in recovery. I notice myself getting better, our marriage is doing good but I'm still wondering why is it people have affairs.

I'm mostly hurt over his emotional connection and that he told OW he "wanted to marry her" (he denies this but I think OW is telling the truth).

I feel like there is nothing special about "us" anymore bc he fell in love with another woman. From my perspective, our marriage is tainted. From his view, our marriage is great and he is more in love with me now than ever before.

Folks, I haven't changed, except of course I gave him another chance. I've always loved him. I've never loved anyone else like I love him. Why did he feel that I didn't? He says bc I was wrapped up in the kids, the house, my work, etc. Now he says he realizes people show love in different ways. I showed it by taking care of our family and all the mundane things that make up our lives.

Did he confuse the attention he got from OW as love? He said the last thing he ever wanted was a D. But he found another woman to love so how can that be?

If I felt love for another man like I do for my H, I would want a D. Is he just saying that to not hurt me?

So, as you can see I'm circling and in search of some more enlightment.

hannah