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When he left, I called SH and he told me 6 months, 6 MONTHS of no contact with him and then see how I feel.
Well this is the sixth month and I have never been happier. I think clearly, I laugh, I have let God back into my life...my daughter is happy, my friends are happy. you are da' BOMB girl! happy news here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Thanks Pep!
I am walking on air.
I am free of that three times xMM/serial cheater,liar,thief person!
Yeah!!!!!
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Once you committed yourself to NC ... I remember some of your anger and frustration ... I think that was your withdrawl in full swing.
I am soooooo happy for you!
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"I am free of that three times xMM/serial cheater,liar,thief person!"
Oh, come on. Tell us what you really think.
BTW, I like you too.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Thanks guys, your support has meant so much to me.
And yes, I was angry and in full withdrawl.
You must have all thought me sooooo dimwitted. And then when I signed the property over, and everyone on here said NOOOOOOO don't do it.
And I did it anyway.
Oh well, a small price to pay to find out the truth about him. LOL
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Oh well, a small price to pay to find out the truth about him. LOL I think so. At first I thought "oh no, don't" but I think you finally rid yourself of something that was bringing you down. You rock, Weaver! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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You must have all thought me sooooo dimwitted no pretty sure you were miserable and hurting .. and PISSED off too! LOL
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I think so, 2.
Withdrawal is a bizarre thing 2 watch. I've heard how hard it is 2 be around someone in WD before. Now I'm livin' it, I know how sucky it truly is!
And it's knowing that the "other side" of the process can be so good 2 experience that keeps me keepin' on. Myself.
-ol' 2long
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No more than you Faithers!
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I'm glad 2long, that you are living through withdrawls, because it is awesome on the other side. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> And Pep, yes I was in an incredible amount of pain but I never would have had a clue as to what healthy looked like if it weren't for this board. And sometimes I get so angry at all of you for your very "hardnosed, opinionated, opinions" but then I remember that the murkiness of the fog requires just that to cut through it. Right ole 2long? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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GC waves at weaver. Howdy weaver!
G
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SS copies Gray
High Weaver !!!
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Weaver, you're cool. Now I'm going back by the campfire. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Sunny Day, Sweeping The Clouds Away...
Just J --
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Hi, Weaver.
Quote:
---------------------------------------------------
Well this is the sixth month and I have never been happier. I think clearly, I laugh, I have let God back into my life...my daughter is happy, my friends are happy.
---------------------------------------------------
Outstanding!
Gimble
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect.
-An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
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Weaver - still wish you hadn't signed over the property but delighted for your happiness. Smells of love to me. TT
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weaver, So glad to read that you are doing so well. I believe I was of the opinion that it was okay for you to let go of the land, and I believe it did help you let go of him. Sometimes you have to lose to gain! You have so many blessings in your life, weaver, and have so much more to gain because you let this all go. I am so glad that you have let God back in your life. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I am so happy that your daughter is happy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> And you are worthy. I wish you all the best. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />A love fest for weaver!! I just love this!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> weaver, you have grown so much, and your future is so bright I gotta wears shades. (does that date me or what? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />) Love in Christ, Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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Thank you all! And yes I know Miss M that letting that property go was something that needed to happen. It was the last tie really, and I needed to know it was all he really wanted.
Too bad as TT says, I didn't get him off of it instead of me though. I just could not see things clearly, I was that blind.
And that is what PISSED me off, finally after five long years of living in an emotional torture chamber.
And I cannot blame him entirely, he does have those qualities I listed above but I was a willing participant. And I chose to go back with him after I knew he was married, and after knowing he would leave his xwife and hurt her in that way.
I lived a long time with that guilt and I think inside I hated us both. There was nothing good about our relationship, and no good place for it to end up. I didn't trust him, and most importantly I had no idea of what he was capable of, or not capable of.
And this I believe is why affair marriages rarely last. Because inside all of us is a basic goodness and a need to be in a holy (healing) relationship, not one which is born of such pain and destruction.
For any one here involved in a realtionship as destructive as this one was I have to say that the whole process of detangling or disengaging myself from it took about two years.
I first came here after I had called off our wedding and asked him to move out. After that there was more than a year of going back and forth with him, on and off again type thing and finally him ending it with me in a very cruel and hurtful way.
I was bound and determined after that (pissed off as Pep says) so I did the six months of no contact. And it was the best thing which could have happened.
I saw a picture of him not too long ago and it actually made me feel physically ill. It brought back all that pain I think.
This last six months I have worked hard and searched for everything I could on forgiveness. And this I beleive is the key to the inner peace I feel now. I do not hate him, nor do I wish bad things for him, nor do I spend any time thinking about him. I truly hope that he finds peace someday and stops hurting himself and others. I harbor no bitterness or resentment towards him.
Not being able to forgive him or myself would have destroyed me, and this I knew intinctively. And I believe with all my heart it is the key to moving on and being happy.
And if I had been unable to find peace this way I don't think I would have met the person I met and am now dating. A good, kind and honest person. He has been divorced 10 years and his marriage ended due to his xwifes infidelity so he carries some pretty deep wounds still. But I understand these wounds and his fears, so we are good for each other. This I believe will be a healing (holy) relationship. Thank you God!
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