HI
It has been a few months since my last post,and 8 months since ww left our two teens,and me.She is with om,and only sends a text messege on holidays.
She does not care about the marriage,or getting together . We were together for almost 20 years. This is the first Christmas apart. Do I give her a call,or just forget about her? The two teens do not want anything to do with her . Steve

Steve, I would stick with your Plan B and NOT call her. Let her do the calling, not you. And if she calls, don't answer it. You told her clearly in your letter not to contact you unless she is rid of the OM and as you said, she is still with him.

I am sure sorry it hasn't worked out but am glad that you and the kids don't have a front row seat anymore to her catting around. Let the OM deal with her multiple affairs. He deserves it.

I can't see how giving her a call will bring anything good to you Steve. It would probably just upset you, so why do it?

Continue trying to get on with things and making the holiday season as happy as possible for yourself and kids.

How incredibly sad for you and them. Your kids don't want anything to do with her because they are hurt, and understandably so.

I hope you find happiness Steve, regardless of how your marriage turns out, and that next year is much, much better than this one was for you.

Bless you.

Good to hear from you, Steve. I was thinking about you a couple of days ago, wondering how you were doing.

As for calling, I'm with Melody and Weaver. Don't call. Focus on bringing the best x-mas you can into your house.

Apart from the WS, how have things been for you?

John

I am doing well. I am getting caught up on bills,the kids are fine,and we are looking forward to the New Year. Thanks for your support.

It has been 8 months since ww left with om,and she last called 2 months ago about going to Christmas eve part with our 2 kids which we didn't. She brought the om with her,and her sister called yesterday saying we should talk,and that she told my ww she should meet with me to discuss the situation.
Her sister asked if I had gf,but I said I was still married,and only seperated. My kids 15 + 19 DO NOT
want anything to do with their mother. She continues to send them text messeges on cell after they both told her to stop.She wont meet,or call so she can avoid facing the pain ,and shame she caused us all. Her sister said they all missed us at the party,and to stay in touch.
I would like to talk with her before another year starts,so I can put this to rest. Can she admit what she did,or live in her cowardly lies? What do I do now? Do we just keep quiet,and remain seperated for another year,or talk,and move on. This is all messed up.

What do you want Steve? Are you ready to end your marriage and move on?

How you proceed from here would depend on what you want. You can't do much about her but you can decide what you want and set your plans based on that.

I would be ready to move on, because life is short but I know a lot of people would give it two years to let the affair die out.

How long were you willing to wait? Did you have a time frame in mind when you implemented Plan B?

HI
I think I will wait a few more months,and that I should start making some new female friends.My ww don't want to call,cause her om does not want her to. I dont feel I should talk to her sister about my ww. I will move on.
If my son,and I were to meet my ww in person,then we would prove her wrong,and just start trouble again.

Steve, I would stay in Plan B until you decide to divorce her and move on. It is unlikely that she is going to change, though. She has been this way your entire marriage and losing her kids and her H has not phased her at all.

I know it makes you sad, but it would have been much worse if you and the kids still had to watch her catting around every day with her latest boyfriend. Aren't you glad your kids are protected from her now?

My ww called this morning,and wants to meet with my 15 year old son ,and I next Sunday. She took off on me,and 2 teens in May,with om,and says he is just a friend. My son does not want to go at this time,and she will be calling tommorow for an answer.
I think she is starting to miss the kids,or her whole family,and maybe she will admit she made a mistake on leaving us,or she will lie again,and we will tell her to stop contacting us ,cause she is upsetting us with her affairs,and is bad to be around. What now?

Steve,
I for one think that unless she is willing to leave OM and have NC...stay in Plan B...so..I would pass on meeting and begin preparing for reality of D....you deserve more from your life....

Steve, unless she dumps the OM and PROVES to you she is flying right, tell her NOT TO CONTACT YOU. She is still trying to have her cake and eat it too. She wants the benefit of family without giving up her sleazy boyfriends.

Your son should not be forced to see this woman. He has been put through enough.

p.s. and lies about her and the OM just "being friends" should indicate to you where her head is at. She is still lying and still thinks she can fool you. Let her know you are nobody's fool.

I talked with my son,and he does not want to waste the time,or gas to go meet her. She is still seeing the om,and she wants us to give in. When she calls,I will give him the phone to have him tell her himself. Thanks for the advice. I am not goin to be a sucker for her.

MY ww keeps calling,and sending text messeges to our 15 year old son who does not want anything to do with his lying,cheating mother. She is a bad example,and my daughter feels the same. She has been gone with om for 8 months now.
She won't end affair with om who coaches her every move,cause he has been divorced with 2 teens already.
What should I tell my son? He is clearly shaken up,and his voice trembles when I suggest talking to his mother.

Stop telling your son to talk to your WW. You have to be a MAN and tell your wife what you need to tell her if you have to. Do not use your son to do that for you.

If your son wants to talk to WW, that's fine. If he does not, you should not force him to.

Tell you son he still needs to honor his mother. He still needs to love her and this has/had nothing to do with him.

Secondly, as I told my kids to ask their mother one question and make sure they get an answer. When is it O.K. to have an affair? Let their mom answer that one!

Lastly, explain to your son that he still has to love his mom but he does not have to approve or agree with her actions. That is exactly what my kids have relayed to their mother. They love her but they do not approve or agree with her decisions.

p47d

I am not telling my son that he has to talk to his mother.
I am only suggesting that he do so,so she can admit to him in her own words without lying that what she did was wrong. She is getting off easy by running away from the shame,and guilt that she has cause the whole family by deserting us for the om.
She is still their mother,but a very bad role model,and a mother that should be ashamed of what she did.I think by seeing her son in person may wake her up.My son is disgusted,and hurt,cause she tries to contac him like everything is fine.