I sorry folks but I really don't have any place else to go to blow off steam. My kids are home for Christmas and I really don't want to put them in the middle. I'm doing my best not to say anything bad about certain people. However, it's got to go someplace or the top of my head is going to explode. I'm sure that in the next week, I'll have plenty more to add to this. A kind word or two, a joke and a few hugs from my MB friends might turn the tide.

This morning, before I had even finished my cup of tea, my mother-in-law called. She wanted to know, once again, if we were going to Christmas dinner at their house. For the past 15 years, Christmas dinner has been at OUR house. A week ago, I had explained our plans. Once again, I told her that I did not wish to have any contact with WH, her doted upon son. Once again, I explained that being around him is painful to me. Once again, she blew me off.

Our traditional Christmas dinner will be at our house. I am not going to change one more thing for my kids. My brother, his family and my mom are coming. We'll do what we always do, drink champagne, open presents, have a big dinner and pop our "crackers" before dessert. My inlaws are definitely invited.

To appease MIL, I said that I had talked with BIL's wife about coming down on Christmas Eve. MIL's answer? "We'll be at church. It's our tradition." I replied that it was a long day and perhaps we could come at a different time. She squirmed, squirmed, squirmed around this.

I left it on a not too pleasant note. It's awfully hard to be pleasant with conflict avoiders. I simply said that if they could find time to see their grandchildren on Christmas Eve, give me a call.

ARGH!

ah grape- screen your calls. Just tell her you can not come that you have a house full. The kids can go over after dinner. Just brush these idiots off. I understand when someone does not hear you - I live with one. Take caare -vent here.

Hi GG,

I would just concentrate on having a nice holiday with your kids.That is what I am doing.As much as my In-Laws still support me,they have stopped coming out to my home now that the D is on schedule.It saddens me a bit since this is their grandchildrens home.Yeah I may be the soon-to-be ex DIL but they should still make an effort to see the girls.Now they only see them when I go out there or if my STBXWH goes(rarely).I guess that's enough for them but I also expected things would change.I don't think I will ever have another holiday gathering with them unless WH doesn't show up(we used to see them all the time).I will not go if he's there so,I stay home now or see my own family.My plans don't revolve around them anymore.

I find my life is so much easier when I don't think about the other side or people who bother me.I concentrate on my own family and what makes me happy.Sorry you feel down.Try to think about your blessings and let that carry you along~

{{hugs}}

O

GG - are your children happy with the arrangements you've made for Christmas? I have none of these issues because I'm so far away from both our families. Is your WH definitely spending Christmas day with his parents and would he be there on Christmas Eve too?

I wish I could just skip the whole pretence this year. I know when I go to church and the choir start to sing I'll be a mess of tears. My kids are still excited about the festivities. Me, bah humbug.

My kids seem to be fine about having our normal, traditional Christmas at our house. I've asked them if they would like their father to pick them up and take them to dinner at their grandparents. Each has declined.

I don't believe that WH will spend anything but Christmas Day with his parents. According to MIL, WH wants to go skiing with his brother and our sons. It's funny because it's something he has refused to do in the past.

I really want to be out of the entire situation. I would also like to be an ex-daughter-in-law.