After 8 months of fighting over My H other "friend", I thought things were finally going pretty good.....until last night. We had not even discussed it in several months now. We were getting along well and seemed to be on the right track.

We went to a Christmas party on Wed. evening and OW's friend of course was there as she is a member of the organization my H belongs to. I noticed that he left the group we were talking to at the bar and went to the other side of the bar to talk to OW's friend. They talked for quite awhile and it bothered me slightly but not terribly as her boyfriend was talking with them. Then he danced with her.....no big deal, as later he danced with me for the remainder of the evening....we all had a good time and nothing more said about anything.

Believe it or not HE was the one that brought the whole situation up again last night.(Sat.) Said he was so angry that I had ruined a good friendship between he and OW. He said he doesn't have very many good friends and besides that he thought we could all be friends (he, OW, me and OW's Husband) There was never anything that transpired between he and OW other than friendship. The only thing he was guilty of was staying out too late on bowling night and drinking w her and other people in the league. It was all a total misunderstanding on my part. "If all that didn't come down last June we would all be going out to dinner together". Then this morning he informed me that he found out through OW's friend on Wed. that OW's mom is dying. She travels into the city at least 3 times a week to care for her. You can be sure that he was the one inquiring about OW as he left our group to go over to talk to her. NOW I KNOW WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT! He wants to at least go to the funeral when something happens to her mom. I got so beaten down by all this I told him if he wanted to be friends with her far be it from me to stand in his way. For G--- sake call her then! On top of it all our kids and grandkids are flying in tomorrow for Christmas and I have tons of stuff to do to get ready for them. I am absolutely sick and can't even function today!

Maybe a positive note...he said he is now ready to go to some kind of MC with me whether it be one on one or phone counseling with the Harleys. I don't even feel like I want to fight this anymore. I am at an emotional bottom. Physically too as I have a cold I am fighting. Guess I just wanted to vent and ask for prayers from you all.

Blessings,
Tarehurts

Just to add to what transpired today, when H said "we would all be going out to dinner together" I commented that I thought OW had not gotten along w her H for a very long time. Why would we be going out to dinner together when she won't go anywhere with him? His comment " to be sure when something happens to her mom, she won't have that diversion anymore and she will be out of there." I said "then why would we be all going out together?" he said that she really loves her H and actually would have a hard time leaving but said that her kids (grown) told her 2 years ago to leave him. Sounds like they're sharing alot of personal information but what are good friends for? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Blessings,
Tarehurts :

Is he still in contact with the OW?

It sounds like he still didn't answer your question as to why you two have to go to dinner with them!!! Does her husband kow about this "Friendship gone too far"?? It appears that you rollercoaster didn't stay to long in the station and wants to go back on the tracks!!!

Did he previously agree to no contact with the OW? If so and if not he still should not go to the funeral.

I have been getting the just friends bit from my WH too, but I think that has ended due to conversation yesterday.

Are there old friends you have that are possible to reconnect with socially as a couple? Someone who he could develop a positive friendship with? My WH doesn't have a lot of close friends either except for OW friends. Very frustrating. I do not know what to do about it. Since he is out of the house now I do not have a lot of opportunities, but you may.

Sorry I do not have much to say. I am so new and lost myself. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Thanks so much for the reply all! Yes, I insisted on NC with OW 6 months ago. The last time he contacted her via his cell was in July to tell her that I thought they were having an A. I noticed they talked for almost 14 minutes.

The only thing I know about OW's H is that they have had a bad marriage for about 3 to 4 years now. According to my H he is a real couch potato and doesn't like to do anything with her. I think he wants my permission to contact her again and to convince me there has never been any physical attraction to her nor her to him. They are "just good friends."

Lost-

Did I see that your H left on 12/5? I know you have to be hurting big time. I will keep you in my prayers,

Tarehurts