I just found out that Ditchpig4 is in bankruptcy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

And is still not discharged. There was a suspended order. And the reason that it was suspended is because of a previous bankruptcy. In Canada there are two reasons for a suspended/delayed order.
1. because the bankrupt person hasn’t fulfilled their obligations,
2. They had a previous 1 or 2 bankruptcies and they look at that seriously!

OMG!!!!!!!!!! roflmao. That is the KARMA I was talking about. For Dork.

All along Dork had Financial Support as his #1 EN. Before family. Activities.

Honesty didn't even make the list. DUH! I noticed that! And we went through bankruptcy years ago. I know how he hated being in that boat. Still talks about it. So here he is, in even a worse boat. Without his family and with a Ditchpig4 who has even less. So when I call her a ho, lol, she is one. Money for sex. NO wonder he looks so unhappy. YAY for Karma.

But, I am in a quandary. He STILL hasn’t submitted the financials that he PROMISED me for sure last week. AGAIN!!!!!!!

So I question his motives. And they do make a difference. Is he Cake-eating? That's what my counsellor thinks.

Me? I'm not sure. But here's the thing. If he is delaying the financials to protect her from going to court this is a control thing with him. So that bugs the heck out of me. If it is cake-eating, still control but I can ignore that.

I am not sure how to deal with this. The "old me" would be hauling her nasty butt into court yesterday. Just add another 5 – 10K on top of her debt load. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />As that is how much the court costs will be. I checked., And that is her having to pay for a portion of mine.

The letting go "new me" is saying wait. For now. I am in Plan B. I do have to speak to the Dork on rare occasions as he ignores my emails. But it is strictly DD13 related.

But I am still impatient. And I HATE to think of them thinking they got something over on me and are delaying until June when Dork can file for divorce no matter what.

I want to ‘help’ destroy their fantasy in the worst way. I am resisting reacting. But man is it tempting. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Get the 2 bys ready. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Suggestions? Actions? I am way more comfortable DOING something. So this NOT doing anything is killing me. lol

What action can you take now that he has miss the financials for a SECOND time?
Take whatever action is available to you. Want to destroy their fantasy? Complicate things for the WH-- stop watiing for him to do it. He had two chances, now call him on it.

I don't know what you are talking about here fiesty. What do you have to haul her into court for? I must have missed a good portion of your story.

Can you post again, this part of it?

Hi weaver! Ah I am trying to keep my posts short. But that is impossible when there is so muuch garbage. I will be taking Dork and Ditchpig4 to court on adultery. SHe will be named. But the way things are set up in Canada means that I have to have DOrks' financials at my lawyers'. ANd when I name her as the Adulteress, She can be required to pay for ALL court costs. Including mine. Well 1/3 to on half. Justice. kwim?

ANd lawyers are expensive plus travel time for THEM becasue I filed where I live. a 2 hour ferry ride away each way. AWWWW.

THe separation part is filed here. BUt that isn't settled until I get Dorks financials in writing from him. So it will cost them a pretty penny.

AND I am still planning on suing that &(*)(&() but now that I know she's broke, well, can't get blood from a stone. BUt she DOES have to pay for her lawyer. SHe works so no free lawyer. AWWW DO the crime do the time.

ANd yes that is being nasty. And I say SO WHAT?

I did talk to her and asked very nicely (Until I lost my temper) lol to get the he!! out of my marriage. But she wants to "help" DOrk and "protect" him from me, his crazy wife.

She s still married and I can't find out anything abuot him. But I talked to DP4s D16 and she said her dad is a DORK too. ANd she hasn't seen him in years. Grrr I was prepared to do exposure. ANd since DP4 has custody of only one of her children I was going to rock that boat some. After all DOrk is paying for something. Whatever. I am just stuck as to how to get more info.

Hey mojodiva.

Well that's part of the problem. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I can go BACK to my lawyer for the umpteenth time. ANd pay for him to send ANOTHER letter to DOrk's lawyer. BUt this is getting ridiculous. DORK insists he wants a divorce. BUT for AT LEAST 8 months has not cooperated.

No financials done or submitted to my lawyer. He insists that he submitted them and it is my lawyer who is incomptent. I have been so ticked off I actually faxed a letter to his lawyers office. I cannot afford this lawyer stuff! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

ANd his lawyer talked to my lawyers secretary and confirmed that Dork NEVER gave them the info. So cake-eating seems a possibility. ANd even my IC thinks DOrk is still in love with me. He is NOT indifferent to me AT ALL!. BUT he is a HUGE CA and in the middle of a full blown MLC and has WAAAY too many other issues to think that he can EVER be a man and face himself and his actions. BUT at the same time, if he is doing it to protect his flavour of the month, UMMMM Heck NO! I won't stand for that.

But I got laid off so am not working. SO I am spinning my wheels a lOT! I am trying to be proactive in a way so that I can present my lawyer with stuff I have done myself and then go from there. BUT, DOrk does pay his support for me and DD13 on time. No problem with THAT part of it at all.

Sigh, I am still in love with the DOrk and don't want a divorce but am out of hope. And I resent having to do all the work for HIM. ANd it is so like him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

He wants me to fix things for him. WHich is a problem because I am trying to disengage. THat Control issue. BUt I am way too impatient.

But it is really complcated because of his refusal to see a counsellor. ANd he cannot see DD13 until he does. I think he's NUTS! lol. BUt counselling will also be a requirement before a divorce can be finalized. And the divocre can't be heard until the financials are settled as well.

So I am frustrated as heck!

IT seems that there should be a way you could proceed with at least some type of court order. I know its differant in your area, but it sounds like a spouse could keep the other spinning their wheels forever if they wanted!

Well, that's part of the quandary. I can go to court and start the divorce proceedings on adultery. BUT that would mean that I have to do all the work. And I have to pay my lawyer for all that. And once again. Dork gets to sit back and say, well, SHE got the divorce. I don't have to do anything. And that just sucks! And it is him manipulating me imho. SO even though I have no hope at the same time, I am really in no hurry to get a divorce. I am not going anywhere. And I do have quite a contrary streak in me.

Yet, I know I have a tendency to rush in, take over and "fix=control" everything and anyone that stands in my way.

Besides to be perfectly honest, I can't help but be quite smug knowing that I can go for a divorce whenever I want to. Yet HE and DP4 can't do a darn thing. I can haunt them for a long time. lol. That is, they have no clue what I plan to do next.

Petty yes. But I really get annoyed at stupidity and deliberate evil.

So until I figure out what is best for me and DD13, I will try to bide my time

I don't want to burn any final bridges because that also means that DD13 will not see her father again. And that's a big consideration.

DD13 has said that she needs 2 things from Dork. Counselling and no other woman before she will see him. Right now she is emailing him every day basically questioning his every move and behaviour and excuse. And when he doesn’t respond within the 2 days as he agreed to she faxes the emails to his ship. (Canadian Navy) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Which is pretty dumb on Dork’s part. Because she told Dork if he can't access email, he can leave a message on her personal cell. HE hasn't done that so every weekend when he is with DP$, on Sunday night at 9pm she faxes all the emails that she sent since the last time he responded directly to his ship. With a personal note in her writing saying that once again she is faxing as she promised because he DIDN"T follow through on his promise.

Gee I wonder how many of his crew mates read about his activities? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

But he is so immature and such a CA that he doesn’t get it.

SO these are his Consequences!

btw, DD13 said something to me last week that I have to share. DD13 said: "Mom tryint to get Dad to hear me and learn to tell the truth and fix his problems is harder than training MAx" Max is our GIant Schnauzer dog. lol. Now DD13 says " Bad Dog!" Whenever he spouts some WS babble to her in his emails. roflmao.

I just love your daughter! What a girl, eh?

Make sure she is still enjoying life as the young teen which she is. She is still just a baby, and doesn't need to be worrying about dad all the time.

Although I am sure you are keeping close eyes on the balance in her life.

She sure does seem like a cool kid fighting. Wonder where she gets that from? LOL

((weaver)) DD13 is incredible. And she is a wonderful young lady. And she is not obsessing aobut this. Just a very determined girl. lol. Gee I wonder where she gets it from, too. lol.

She has a huge heart and great understanding. We talk every day about how she feels. Not in a big way. More in a how are you feeling and then let her tell me what she thinks. WIth me acting as a non-judgmental sounding board.

And she has very, very busy life with her sports, band, and school activites. She is on a school basketball team, she is in band at school, in a marching band, and just made an elite volleyball club team so has practises twice a week for that. SHe is in a Christian Leadership class as well. And she is on the honour roll, too. All of which makes for a very busy schedule for her and for me.

SO I do thnk her life is busy but well balanced. Dork is a very small part of this. And that is his choice. But she believes that as a Christian, she must try to help Dork see the error of his ways. And that she must let him know how his actions affect her and me.

She says we are a team and a package deal. Dork left both of us. SO he must make amends to the FAMILY. I have told her that I am not sure that
a) he will ever change and
b) that I will want him back.

But miracles happen so I can't discourage her. I can only be there as she fights this fight for herself.