Some background info about my situation. EX had OW who was a friend of mine. I hired PI, got my proof. EX cried begged for forgiveness, I gave him 2 months to get rid of OW, they also worked together. I wanted to reconcile because I have 5 children and took my vows serious. After 4 weeks of reconciling, I found EX & OW together. The 2 months period came and I moved out but returning to the residence to take care of my children and then leave when it was bed time. I would return the next morning and get kids ready for school. Cleaned the house, did laundry and cook.

I was hoping EX would realize I was serious and get rid of OW and then I move back home. But it did not happen that way. So I hired PI again, got new evidence and told EX I wanted D.

He knew I was serious and had nothing against me, he had a lot to lose. So one night he came home and started a fight with me and accused me of having A and told me to leave. He lunged toward me, and yelled at me. I got scared and put my hand up to protect my face and stepped back into the front door. He claimed I hit him and called 911. Then he made a red mark on his chest. Police arrived and arrested me because of the red mark. My children were awake from the fight and begged the police not to take me. My daughter told the police that I did not hit her dad because she never heard slapping or hitting sound. EX told police he wanted to press full charge against me. I spent the night in jail. The next day EX went to court house to file restraining order. I could not see my children and had to stay away from the residency.

My OS was furious with EX and moved out.

While working on separation of agreement, I was also dealing with criminal charge from EX. The criminal charge hurt my chance of gaining full custody. My attorney advised me to go 50/50 on the custody issue. I did what my attorney advised, and regret it to this day.

Three months after I signed the separation of agreement, I was still dealing with the criminal charge. I fired my attorney and hired a new one, we went to court.

Judge asked EX how long the bruised lasted, EX said 3 days, she asked if he wore a shirt, he said he was wearing a polo shirt, she asked if he had any pictures of the bruise, he said no. Not to mention that I'm barely 5' tall and EX was buffed at the time from lifting weights.She clearly saw that he was lying.

EX had so much to lose, alimony, child custody, child suport, and the division of marital property was not settled. He knew that I had evidence of A, and that would hurt him. The judge ruled in favor of me, EX stormed out of the room.

The 50/50 custody have been terrible for me. EX had live in nanny, and takes off when ever he wants to, kids are stuck with nanny all the time at his place. He took kids for 1 week vacation, but their vacation was staying at home with the nanny while he was travling with OW. Yet he rented a beach house (1 week) for OW and her children 2 weeks after my kids started school and her kids were still out of school. He had OW drink and drive with my DD in the car. The list goes on on on. I keep notes on everything. The last straw was this weekend.

I have had my kids for every weekend during the last month, this past weekend was EX's weekend. What does he do? He takes off to a party with OW and leave my kids with a baby sitter. The sitter was watching my 4 kids and OW's 2 kids. My DD did not want to go to the light show, so EX told sitter to leave DD home. This happened on Saturday night around 7PM. It was dark and DD got scared staying in the house by herself. I gave DD cell phone recently so she can use it for emergency situations. DD called me to tell me she was alone. OS heard the convo and gets up and tells me that he was going to get her. I told DD to go across the street to a neighbor's house. I explained the situation to my neighbor. I called the Sherrif's deptand explained the situation, they advised me to call EX and let him know that DD will be picked up by OS. EX called me back to let me know that she was not alone, he had a sitter there. I told him to stop lying and that I had already spoke with the sherrif. EX called back again to tell me that the sitter is only 10 minutes from the house and that she would be home soon and OS didn't need to get DD. 30 minutes later OS picks DD up from neighbor's house, sitter was still not at the house.

I called the sherrif's dept back to let them know that OS have DD and EX might call to file me for kidnapping, and that is not the case. They documented everything for me, and I have my neighbor as a witness that DD was left home alone.

I have no money to fight for custody, but I will go to the court house tomorrow and ask for a change of custody motion. I need to have full custody of my children. EX does not wanted them, only for bragging rites.


If anyone have any advice on how I can handle this new battle, please do so, I need all the help I can get.

Get copies of poice reports. Also my H childrens mother would just keepmthe kids from him. The police were called an dhis sons told officers they did not want to go. Their Mother controled these kis completely. If children do not want to go then do not let them. My sons did not want to go to their Dad's either lots of drinking ect. So they would tell him they did not want to go and he said fine. It slwoly eneded all contact. I do not know if in your state this is legal but the courts do not seem to make the kis do what ever they do not want to do. How old are your children?

Good thoughts for you. I don't have advice on this one.
But, consider not fighting. Just try to work it out. (I know there are personalities that would not do this.).
Could you try offering that you will take DD without compensation, for a trial period. Don't make it about money, really make it about the kids. If you can get him to agree to this, then the walls may come down in getting all the kids with you more. Propose alternatives. think outside the box. There never is just one way.