Wow, I was just like all the newbe's on these boards. I was desperate, I lacked MB knowlwdge, I was afraid of exposure, I was not sleeping and eating, I was taking anti-depressant meds, my FWW was lying to me daily, I hired companies to cross reference phone numbers, my family life was turned upside down, I was falling out of love for my then WW, and I was in so much pain, I didn't know what to do.

Suzet had previously sent me an old thread which caused me to reread the pain I was experiencing back then. I then went back to my very first series of MB posts and read every post I made for the first several months.

I was just like everyone who is here today looking for someone and anyone to help save the marriage. For some of you oldtimers, go back and read yours, it is amazing how you grow with the knowledge you receive here and from reading the books.

For the new people, there is hope. My marriage was as far gone as anyone elses on these boards, but things can turn around and your marriage can be saved. Don't give up hope.

TooSoon

Hi TS,

I am glad you are recovered.You are one of the "lucky" ones here.On my 2 year DDay I posted here too about how I was doing,a few things I learned along the way,some insights.I didn't feel especially sad but rather hopeful at a better life free of pain.And I was never more sure about my decisions,even then.

Personally I don't want to go back and reread all the pain I was in.It's all too fresh still anyway.I can go back in a heartbeat and start crying but if I keep my focus on my future and my children then I am ok.My WH hasn't changed a bit so I know there was no hope,for me.

Many more happy years ahead for you and your wife!

Good Luck <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

O

TooSoon,
How do I access the old archives. When I tried to find some of my first posts from Aug 2005, I couldn't find them. Any suggestions?

TooSoon, I've always known that one day I would like to go back and read my old posts. Until recently I haven't been able to go there. I also have tried to access them a few times and just can't. If you or anyone else can give detailed instructions for those of us who were here before MB made the change to a new format I'd appreciate it.

TooSoon, your stats and mine our very similar. D-month for us began 1/8/04. It was a workplace A, although H's was an EA/PA. NC finally began the end of March/04. I think you may be a bit farther along on the recovery road. Anyway, I'm glad you are no longer in that dark place of 2 yrs. ago. CV

TooSoon , your in a place I only can see in my dreams right now. There must of been many times when you thought that your M was unrecoverable?

After going through this I truly respect and admire all BS.

Your posts and insight have helped me a great deal.

OG:

When Suzet sent me an old thread, it caught me off guard and it brought out emotions that I didn't like. I figured out a way to search my old thread under a different name I used and that allowed me to reread the thread. Thanks for your thoughts.

toosoon

KDS:

I went to user list at the top of the thread and search out my old name. I think if you have over 250 messages, you may not be able to access more than that. My old name only had 90 messages. You might send Tempest, the mod, and ask how to access all your old posts beyond 250. I hope that helps.

toosoon

Thanks CV for your post. Time went awful slow back then when I was in desperate pain duirng the unknown period of being married or divorced.

Today, we are pretty normal again. My FWW doesn't like me reading MB because she thinks it causes me to relive the bad time for us. Sometimes the stories make me think my FWW could do it again but she has agreed to to not do it again and she promised that we would just divorce instead of going through the he11 again.

There is not a perfect recovery, just an acceptance of the past and a pledge to move forward, and the time heals your pain and heart.

TooSoon

Hope:

I thought everyday that I had lost my family and I was no different than you and your case. I lost a ton of weight and was an emotional mess. I could perform at work and I would cry without warning. It was awful but don't give up hope. You are going to win your WW back.

TooSoon

I just sent the moderator an e-mail to see if we can get more than 250 of our old posts. I will let you knwo.

TooSoon

Kidsheartbreak:
Here is your link:
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post2787391

It gets a little tricky, but this is what I did. You were looking for 8/05. I did a search, put your name in the username section, and asked for posts newer than 5 months (after July) and older than 4 months (before August 31). This way it would show posts for that time frame.