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Hi everyone,
I just wanted to share this with you all.
If you don't know my story:
-My xWS had a 3 month affair and wanted to leave me.
-D-D was 13 January 2001.
-I Planned A instictively.
-Went through depression, suicidal thoughts........many ups and downs, our fights even became pysical.
-Things calmed down but I had complete "Freak outs" and went through "Longtermed depression".
-December 2003 xOW called out of the blue.
-Found out in Feb.2004 that xOW had tried to intiate contact with my husband and he didn't tell me. He swears that the affair ended on d-d.
-xOWH threw xOW out of the house and wants a divorce. We had a talk with xOWH and my husband now knows who she really is.She's desperate and she needs $$$$.
-I went through a BIG struggle finding out that my husband had held back that xOW had intiated contact and I wanted to end my marriage and I was already heading out of my home...........
-My xWS had a total "turn around" and realized that it would only work with "complete" Honesty and openess. He swears that he NEVER intiated contact with xOW and he wants her out of our life.
-I am now learning to trust my xWS again. He's doing everything a man can do to regain my trust and my gutt is telling me it's for real!!!!
-September we celebrated our 25th Anniversary. Gosh that felt good!!!!
-December 12.............we are now Grandparents!!!!
-We were having a comfortable evening with red wine the other night..........my husband always speaks a toast.
This time, he gave me a very deep and loving look........his words were: I am sooooo gratefull that we are experiencing this together. It feels so good. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I thank you for "sticking" to me throughout the hard days.
So everyone..............it's almost 5 years since d-d and I'd say that our life is back on track. I hardly have any down days and my depression is gone.
My xws and I have learned to communicate the right way and we are staying on track.
I NEVER would of imagined that our life was going to be so wonderfull and loving again.
I'm happy that I didn't give up and I'm thankfull that I found this site. It was a true "Life-Saver".
I wish you all a Merry Xmas and most of all I wish you "Strength".
bb
Last edited by *Blondblossom*; 12/20/05 08:21 AM.
Me-46yo + Husband-49yo
Met 1975/ Married 1980
H had 3 month affair/D-d January 2001
Grandparents since Dec.2005
Recovered and moving on and we're looking forward to the years ahead!
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I honestly don't know why I am taking my time to post here. I NEVER get a response.
I'll leave my story for others to read and I'm "Bowing" out of Marriage Builders.
Take care everyone and I wish you all the best. I've just had enough of "Feeling Ignored"!
bb
Me-46yo + Husband-49yo
Met 1975/ Married 1980
H had 3 month affair/D-d January 2001
Grandparents since Dec.2005
Recovered and moving on and we're looking forward to the years ahead!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Thanks so much for outlining your wonderful story, blondblossom! And please don't go anywhere, I love your posts!! I remember all the time and effort you put into posting to K. You did a fabulous job. So please don't leave. Merry Christmas! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BB,
Congratulations That is GREAT NEWS. I hope to be where you are one day.
Have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Thank you for posting.
Chuck
"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Thanks for sharing! Merry Christmas to you and yours! Susan <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
~ Kinky Friedman
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Thanks for sharing a success story, we need all the happy endings we can get!
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Hi BB, I'm glad you shared your success. So many people near to hear these stories over and over and over again. I'm sorry you are feeling ignored. It's that time of year isn't it? The boards are slow and people are busy. I just want to say that even if no one posted, it does not mean you have not touched someone's heart. I can't tell you how many times during some low points in my life that a stranger's smile or kind words touched me and made my day. They were unaware of this. So don't ever underestimate the power of positive words and deeds. Also, just because things are going well doesn't mean you have to go anywhere! You still have a lot to contribute and receive. Hope your day picks up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Me/BS 48
Married 16 yrs/together 23; 1 child
Dday 4/05; WH "needed space" and left 5/05
WH Filed D papers 6/05 - Divorce final 12/05
WH moved in with OW 11/05; moved out OW 1/06
12/06 His 3rd and strongest attempt at reconcilliation (I believe OW still in picture)
2/07 Affair over, begging me to take him back - it's too late.
WH has tried numerous times to reconcile.
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Dear Blonde Blossom,
I don't get to the site so often nowadays, but I'm glad I saw your wonderful news!! Congratulations on the new babe, and most of all on your successsful recovery!
Have a wonderful holiday, and Happy 2006!
[color:"#39395A"]***Well, it's sort of hard to still wonder if you were consolation prize in the midst of being cherished.***
- Noodle[/color]
Devastation Day: Aug 26, 2004
[color:"#2964d8"]"I think we have come out on the other side... meaning that we love each other more than we ever did when we loved each other most." [/color]
[color:"#7b9af7"]
~Archibald MacLeish[/color]
Very Happily Married
Me FBS - 44
Him FWS - 51
I married him all over again, May 07
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So good to hear your story! There are lots of folks here looking for success stories. And to recover after so much time is really encouraging.
Congratulations on the new baby - one that you can spoil.
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Thanks for your post BB I think it is interesting that it took you almost leaving for him to wake up. I see this in several posts. Some WS's are not brought into reality by a pure plan A. But the fear of loosing the BS can be a wake up call. Plan A seems to have limited effects with some people in that it allows them to continue in the same tracks without changing. I think plan A should be combined with the BS standing up for themselves. Doormats are stepped on and wiped off the dirt on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
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BB, what an encouraging story! I don't think I knew your story before. Congratulations on becoming a grandma!
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Hi, BB! I've always looked for your posts.....we signed up on MB within a day of each other, I believe, and we're only a few member numbers apart! It's wonderful to see good reports on MB, and it's especially great to see such a positive update from you. Have a wonderful Christmas with your family, BB. And congratulations on the new grandbaby! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Lori P.S. Where many of us are (geographically) you posted at 6:00 in the morning....I don't know about everyone else, but I don't even get in front of a computer until 8:30 a.m. So, don't get too irritated because no one immediately responded...most of us were busy getting our eyes opened with a cup of coffee! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by at peace; 12/20/05 12:45 PM.
VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
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BB, You were one of the first MB'ers to post to me when I first arrived here.I was thankful to you and so many other's for helping me along.I am sorry you felt you didn't receive any responses.You did only just post this morning.We need to have our coffee's and tea's to get moving! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I only just saw your post now,too. Anyway,I am glad that you are doing well with your FWH and things are going well.Many more happy and honest years ahead for you both!! Take care and much luck! O
BW(me)40
DDay 10/11/03
Divorcing
'The Reformer'- enneagram type 1
~Let Higher Minds Prevail~
---------------
~Life isn't complicated,we make it that way~
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Thank you, Blondblossom, for taking the time to share your wonderful story with us, even the rough times.
I appreciate it.
Georgia
Formerly G.G. and Jeb
Me: BS 50
She: xW 50
Jeb: Mini Schnauzer
Married: 29 yrs
Children: MM25, MM23
Plan B - 12/06/04
Divorced - 11/17/05
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Morning sweetie. Still rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and guzzling coffee. I am so happy to read your good news, joy and success after suffering. Wish I had a success story too. But like a man with no legs, I enjoy witnessing footraces and cheering for the contestants and applauding the winners.
Merry Christmas blonde blossom. Glad you stuck it out and repaired your marriage. May it be stronger and happier than ever.
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Congratulations Blondblossum on your recovery.
I know what you mean about being ignored. Sometimes its easy to feel that way. I have quite a few posts that only got a couple responses.
I know it helps to keep in mind though, people tend to respond to the more urgent, newly discovered affairs.
Especially, when time is short.
Don't stop posting though, your recovery will help give the newly b/s and w/s the hope that there marriage might recover, too.
Merry Christmas, BB.
Sincerely,
K.D.'s Heartbreak
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46
Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005
28 years of marriage
DD 26, DS 24
O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living
Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Thank you so much for posting, I have followed your story and though I don't write much you have given much hope. Our truth is finally coming out after five years of denial, I pray someday to have my marriage restored as yours has been. Thank you for that hope.
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((((BB)))) Its wonderful to hear good news this time of year. I am so happy that you made it through and are enjoying your life and your marriage . Congratulations on the new Grand baby!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Stop back and visit some time, the coffee is always on somewhere! We need to hear happy endings every now and then.
aka-confused42
BS-45 me
WH-42
DS-14 & DD-12
together 21 yrs, married 18.5yrs
"I love you but not IN love with you" speech 6/3/04
D-Day 2/25/05; WH moved out 3/15/05 & back too soon 3/22/05...He left again 5/8/06
5/25/06 Plan B.....NC letter 6/18/06
Recovery finally began Jan 2007
We are IN love again!!!Sept 2007
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BB: Haven't been by here in weeks (months?), but it's great to hear your story! Congratulations <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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hey chicca----i just saw this...life is crazy here for me! i am so happy for you and the "peace" you have attained! its an inspiration to many.
please pop in and chat...i will miss you if you don't!
what we do in life......echoes in eternity!
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