I sometimes wonder – do all abandoned BSs have ‘Desperate – get it here!’ stamped across their foreheads? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

It makes me sick – people (men, I suppose I mean – sorry to all the genuinely nice men out there) seem to think that I’m a sure thing because I’m on my own and my husband has left me.

Yesterday, a so-called ‘old friend’ (male) came to visit me when the kids were at school and I was alone in the house. I didn’t think twice about letting him in – he’s always been completely non-threatening and it was a lovely surprise to see him (I had no idea he was in town).

So I made us coffee, and we chatted. Gradually, the tone of the conversation began to change. He started talking about how he wasn’t ‘connected’ with his wife any more, how things were so different since they had their little boy (he’s 3 ½). Red flags were flying up all over. I tried to steer the conversation away from this, but he was insistent. Alphin, you’ve always understood me so well, you’re so easy to talk to, I’m not attracted to my wife any more etc etc. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> You are looking really good, though, Alphin. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

WTF! I didn’t want to hear anything like this! Every cliché in the book, flying up and hitting me in the face. How could he try this on with me, try to do this to his wife, after what has happened to me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> He tried to hug me, and I had to push him away. I virtually had to throw him out. I told him to spend more time with his wife, to pay her some attention! He went away in tears.

He had brought chocolate for my children. YUK!

I was so looking forward to ‘kicking up my heels’ this Christmas, but now I just want to curl up and hide away, wearing a sackcloth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Truth be told, I’ve entirely forgotten how to deal with the opposite sex, and I have no wish to anyway!

I’m very upset about this. It’s ruined Christmas for me before it’s even started. I’d really appreciate any advice people have to offer.

I'm not ready to be single. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Alph.

Post deleted by sickofthis1961

eeks... Alphin. That would hurt. I would be disgusted too.

{{{ Hugs }}}
Did you get my email?

~A

Al..I'm not sure I have ever posted to you before but this one I think I must....

Not all people are like this. When I was first divorced it was not until this time of year that I started to "date". I had pressure from well meaning friends to "meet people"...after a few weeks I decided to see someone more than once but when she became angry that I would not run to Las Vegas with her because it was my weekend with boys I was done. I decided to draw a 20 mile circle around my home town and not do ANYTHING socially in that area, including date someone!

I had one womans husband call me at work (she told me she was single)...had another woman show me divorce papers that were never filed, had my married therapist ask me out (that is a whole other thread)...I became very jaded. This is the time you'll find people's true colors. These vultures will disappear when you show everyone how strong you are.

It is not all bad and we're not all bad. These experiences actually gave me a lot of self confidence in myself and they should you too. One time in the future it may actually be an unmarried, nice guy saying all that stuff to you...and you may just smile...wondering...and...who knows...

Good luck to you Alphin...and happy holidays

Alphin

You handled it perfectly.

No wonder it hurt. The idiot was showing you what the start of an affair looks like, which is just what you don't need right now. Not much of a chat-up line, was it?

On the other hand, it gives you an insight into just how foolish a woman would be to fall for that. Foolish or desperate. Aren't you glad you're not that kind of woman? Think how sad it would be to be her.

The vultures WILL circle. Be prepared. And enjoy Christmas.

Alphin,

How many of us divorcees can't relate to that situation? This is my 2nd marriage and after my divorce to my 1st husband 18 yrs ago, I had 2 neighbors "hit" on me out of the clear blue. (both married by the way) The strange thing is, my brother went thru a divorce about 8 yrs. ago and had all kinds of women hitting on him (his x left him for another) soooooo........is it just the men that prey on divorcees? You are sooooo right.....WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!!!???????? But Sick is right please don't let that ruin your Christmas!! YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SITCH, YOU HANDLED IT PERFECTLY!!!

Hugs and Blessings,
Tarehurts

Thanks, everyone.

And thank goodness for this site! I can smell an 'affair proposal' a mile off now. And it stinks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I won't let this ruin my Christmas. But I'm not going out anywhere on my own, either. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Alph.