Hello everyone let me get right to it I guess.
Oct. 30 found out my wife of 15 yrs. was having an affair,Oct 31 she moved out. We have 2 children 13,14 she just up and left,in the sep. agreement she gave me everything kids,house,property,child support she said that i wasnt paying her any attention myself and my kids and her family dont believe this but anyway,she moved in with another man.He also left his wife thru all of this I have been civil with her,but when she calls me(rarely) she is not the same person I have been married to for 15 yrs,cussing,screaming,lying,I donrt understand why all this anger towards me.She has stopped wearing her wedding band and now they are talking about marrying when the 1 year waiting period is over.

I still truly love my wife I know this in my heart when I found out about the affair I asked her to goto counciling her parents asked her to goto counciling but she refused she said she didnt want to it as if she has given up completely.

I guess Im just lost like i said I truly love my wife and want her to come home and still tell her to this day that I love her and want her back, so here goes my questions.

Is it to late to save my marriage?

How do I get thru to her when I talk to her(since she will only talk to me when he is around her?)

Am I fighting a losing battle to get her back after she has moved in with another man?

Me and his wife talk alot on the phone we are both in the same situation well my wife and the other man have tried numerous times to try to get us to stop talking they are trying to force one another on each others families and our kids but everyone has told them they dont want to meet the other.

Why the rush??

She has said that she will not see the kids on christmas but wait till monday after.Is this normal to not want to see your kids on christmas?

According to his wife this is his second marriage that he has walked out on.


Thanks

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances. Your wife is acting perfectly normal for someone having an affair.

It is good that she signed all over to you. Usually they blow all of the family money on the other person.

Read all about Plan A hear. It is basically changing yourself to be the best husband you can be. Don't beg, yell at her, get angry or make disrespectful judgements.

Most infidels come back to the marriage. So there is lots of hope. Sorry this is happening to you at this time of the year. Things will get better.

If you are still around please cut and paste your post over to Infidelity - Gen'l Questions II as you will get a lot more responses over there.

As long as one marital partner maintains hope and continues ot fight for the marriage it does remain savable. Affair relationships usually run there course and wither and die anywhere from 6 month to 2 years. Like Believer said read about Plan A but it sounds as though you already have been doing that. You need to Plan A for a short while just to get your bearings in the MB principles and develope your "plan" of action. Then you will probably have to Plan B her and completely go dark on her.

You are going to go into "affair busting" mode wherein you attempt to put pressure on the affair in hopes that it will implode from the inside. I already see one opportunity in that OM will only "allow" your wife to speak to you in his presence. This is most likely his attempt to "control" her and appease his insecurity that she will consider reconciling with you. You need to find ways around him to contact her so he gets mad and ends up Love Busting her for disregarding his feelings.

We've got the answers you seek. MB is the most successful marital reconciliation plan known to exist. Even if you do not succeed by applying the MB principles you will end up in a much better place to enable you to accept a divorce and move on with your life. Since you've lurked for awile congrats on finally posting. I waited myself thinking I could do it myself. I got lucky. By posting you are much more likely to get the right advice for your situation instead of just general hit and miss advice to others that may not be best for you.

Good luck,
Mr. Wondering