First here is my story so anyone who hasn't read it can.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=1#2887989

Thanks for the suggestions and I went out last night and got the book"Not Just Friends" I started to read it but did not get very far. It was late but I must say very interesting so far.

A few quick questions:

Should I still be doing plan A even though my husband insists nothing was wrong with his "friendship". He promised to stop talking to her because it upset me. It was more of a " I will do this for YOU but it was really just a friend thing"

But he has not admitted anything yet . I am confused if I should be doing Plan A or trying to get the info out of him.

I am doing plan A to the best of my ability. I cry only when he is not around in the car etc...I have to vent it. He is being very loving, telling me he loves me lots of affection physical and emotional attention. He has always been this way though but he knows this thing upset me so he is trying harder to be affectionate.

I am soooooo confused. any help wioll be appreciated.

Do I not ask him further about this relationship? I have not mentioned it since I confronted him about it. I would really like to know if he told the women I felt it was inappropriate and that there would be no more contact.
He is not offering this ionformation himself.
Thanks in advance!

The plan here is for him to write a no contact letter. The letter is to establish no contact with the OP, and also reassure the spouse that there is no contact. Do you think he will send one now?

Should I still be doing plan A even though my husband insists nothing was wrong with his "friendship". He promised to stop talking to her because it upset me. It was more of a " I will do this for YOU but it was really just a friend thing" Quote.



Ritz, it is always helpful to make yourself attractive to the other spouse.

That is what the first part of Plan A is.

It also wouldn't hurt for both you and your ws to take the EN questioneer, to identify his top ENs.

Just a note of warning; most ws lie and decieve, even those that are solid, moral stand-up kind of husbands. Something about the affair screws up there judgements and beliefs.

And like the junkies, they are drawn to the drug of their choice, OWs.

Infidelity is something EveryOne is able to do.

Ministers, politicians, and family orientated people are willing to give up their reputations, careers and families over affairs.

Your job is to break up the affair by exposure, and make yourself as attractive as possible to the ws.