I thought maybe we could use this thread to share some of our children's thoughts and comments as they go through divorce. I know trying to understand what my kids are feeling is very important to me...

Last night I had a little chat with my 5 year old. He was talking about how much love he had in his heart. Then out of the blue he asked me "You loved Mommy when she lived here?" and I replied "Yes." He then said "But you don't love her anymore because you are divorced?" I said "Yes you've got it." We've had this conversation a couple of times. It seems to be really important to him to figure out what happened to the love...

He then got into "I wish she still lived here..." I told him "...she has her own place now in xxx, Don't you like visiting her there?" He said "I like going there but I'd like it better if she still lived here."

He also asked me "Do I have a Step Dad?" I told him "No." He was confused to what exactly a step parent was so I had to explain it to him. He then asked "If I had a step Dad would you still be my Dad?" I told him "Yes I will ALWAYS be your Dad. Don't you worry about that."

Miker

I get questions all the time from DD8, and DD6 hates talking about the D. DD8 blames everything on the divorce, despite talking to a counselor and going through two sessions of Rainbows. I think I'll always have questions from this one, and she'll be dealing with it for a long, long time.

My girls don't talk about the divorce too much anymore. They were 6 and 8 at the time and now they are 10 and 12. My oldest seems to have dealt quite well with it, however, my youngest still has either anger or resentment issues. To this date she will not say she loves me and has a difficult time talking to me. I have asked their mom to take them to counselling but to no avail (we live in separate cities). It has been something that has weighed heavily on my heart and soon I will be in a position to do something about it.

My son, who is nine will sometimes say that he wishes we were still together. My daughter, who is four will say things like, "Daddy still wants you to kiss him". I maintain to my children that I will always love their father, and deep down part of me will. He is the father of the two most precious gifts God has ever given me. I also don't want them to think that if I stopped loving him, then I could stop loving them.

We've- being my new husband and I- have told the kids they will only have one daddy. My new husband sat them down and told them that they could call him whatever they wanted, but their dad should always be daddy. The other day my daughter said, "When we try to wake up our other dad, you know ___________, he tells us NO!" to my husband and I.

There's plenty of love to go around, no one need to choose and I want them to have supportive environments on both sides.

I am in the middle of a divorce.

My children don't talk about it at all - as far as they are concerned, our marriage ended when their daddy left us. The divorce is just a formality.

I guess they're right!

Alph.