Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62 |
I am new to this site, and of course I am in a big hurry to learn all I can. We are seperated and he lives in an apartment where I believe he met the OW. I am almost certain that she doesn't know he is married and have plans of reconciling.
What would my H response likely be if I called her?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539 |
Is the OW married? This would be the only circumstances I would recommend contacting the OP is to expose the fact that your H is married. Sometimes that scares them off..sometimes not. Do not be afraid of exposure. Your H will be angry at first but he will get over it. Just make sure you use the approach of "I love my H and we are working on reconciling our marriage".
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62 |
No I don't think she is married. She was trying to visit with him at 5:00 AM. Should I call?
My h stayed the night with me, he is sick an has a cold. We didn't talk about the A at all. I ask him alot of questions about us and he said he still wants me, his family and marriage to work. He said that twice so I said I have a plan about how our family can be restore so I gave him my plan and then he said I'm really not feeling well and my head is "foggy" that kind of threw me. So we plan on talking tonight. So what's my next move? I am literally sitting on my hands to keep from dailing her number.
I have talked about the A to him several times and of course he denied it. I read on here somewhere to just present your case all at once and then leave it alone. So that's why we didn't discuss it lastnight
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
He will be furious if you call her, but I think I would do it anyway. What is the reason for your seperation?
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62 |
We are seperate basically because of the stepchild. His child told him a lot of lies on me about the way I treated her. He felt like he had to pick between us, so he moved. He said he never wanted to move back in with me because it's my house so he had intentions of buying a house and all of us moving in together. He attempt 3 times to purchase a house and they all fell thru. Now he's unemployed. I presented him with a plan in which we can get a new house for our family. So we are suppose to discuss that more.
So I think this A is young.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Well you have more problems than the affair. You need to be able to communicate about your step-child. I helped raise 6, and believe me, it was nothing but problem after problem.
I hope that you will keep the house in your name and do NOTHING about buying one in both names until your marriage is on firm ground. Even then, I don't think I would get it in both names.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62 |
Whew, I made it thru the day without calling her. I think if I call her I will call her on Friday because I don't want him to spend Christmas with her. I will be out of town for christmas and he says he is going to his mothers but I don't think he is really going to his moms.
God's Girl
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 7,464 |
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 62 |
I spoke to my husband last night and he swears there is nothing going on. I haven't told her that I know her name. But I believe she is a christian because I notice that he has started to read his bible. I am not going to even try to figure that out.
SO now I am nervous as all out doors about calling her.
God's Girl
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
517
guests, and
92
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,035
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
