Hey Guys......Response appreciated.....

I have posted her for sometime know under different name: rpositive. But lately my relationship w/ WW has changed..

WW and I have been separated since March 2004. We talk and get along well but we do not date. Share custody of 15 yr old son. And we mostly talk about issues concerning his care. Lately she has been asking me to attend bdays and holiday with her and her parents. Some i have some I have not.

But, today son told me WW/Mom is away on a trip w/ fiends. I think to myself: the week before xmas and she leaves our son w/ her parents, doesn't tell me, and she is with friends. Yea right I called her, and left a message. She called me back and I asked her when was she coming back, she wouldn't say, who was she with, she wouldn't say. I asked if she was w/ OM, she wouldn't say. I know I shouldn't of asked, but something made me ask.

I asked her if she wants a D, she said it seems like that is where we are headed. Then she said she wanted a D, (fog). She said she would call me when she got home. Part of me wants to talk w/ her again and another part of me (that is getting bigger) wants not to. I have been checking into lawyers since then. Getting ready. But, I it is still hard to take that step to file the D. I got that Doormat feeling again after feeling good about myself for a long time. Man I hate that feeling. These WS's are good at this.

Thanks for the ear/eyes!

r

DD 8/2001
M = 24 yrs
Plan A/B
Sep = march 04
2 sons: 15 and 21

Hey there.

Looks like you are where I was at not to long ago. I know its hard. I understand how you feel to. Hard to believe coming from a total stranger isn't it?

I tried to hang on for some time also. There is something deep down that makes you want to believe although all the evidence tells you otherwise. I'm divorced now. There was nothing I could do about it either. SHe filed and I begged. She was the WW and I was the faithful husband who just gave his heart. I held out till it was on paper.

It is so hard to let go sometimes. What I have come to know now that I'm through it is that there are takers and givers. I already know which one you are. Until you are divorced and accept it you are still in the storm. Now that I am through it my pain has started to ease and I'm starting to see life again. I think maybe this is the way for you.

Also, if you still wish to save your marriage this would be the best way. Hard to believe but here is my logic. When i accepted that it was over and my wife was leaving me for another man the pain started to subside and the LB's stopped. I no longer wished to talk to her and therefore no more arguments. If the odds are correct it won't last. Sometimes it just takes a long time.

Oh by the way, just a little advice, don't do anything with her family.

TreborRose thanks!

Actually it's not to hard to believe for me. It seems that BS share the same will.

"There is something deep down that makes you want to believe although all the evidence tells you otherwise." Very well said my friend!

Yes the family...I think she likes to have it the way it used to be for all envolved. Still in the Fog!

I believe I am at the point of 'acceptance' now and rady to get started anew. It's nice to hear the the pain does stop <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> WW told me today on the phone that she would call me when she got back, but I don't want to talk w/ her.

r

Not talking to her is actually good for you. I didn't believe it until i started to do it. You're going to find that she may insist on trying to talk also. That is what plan B is actually about. It's about your sanity. You've lost it when you were betrayed and now you are getting it back. I believe that the BS goes through a 'fog' as well. You have to find the way out. It's hard and it takes a while but yes the pain does start to go away. And as time passes you will regain your strength and may even be a better and stronger person than before.

I feel I am much more stronger and better than I have ever been. "It is through the fires of tribulation that the gold of godliness is forged." basically, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

I feel a lot better about my chances now. Your heart will take you where God wants you to go. You just have to make sure this does not get you down in life.

Yes, the WW wants it all to be so kosher. My WW met my sister after d-day and told her that they were still family and my sis just laughed. Ofcourse not. Things aren't going to be the same. And no, you are not going to have everything so comfortable. WW that is. Sometimes it takes years but the guilt will catch up to them if they were even a worthy person to begin with.

And remember, divorce isn't the end.

Yes, you are right. After she moved out of the house in March 04. I didn't talk w/ her for a least six months. I felt stronger about myself and had a legal separation agreement drafted. I got weak thought during meeting w/ WW about signing the sep agreement. I lost all that I had gained in those six months, I feel back into thinging it she wanted to come back. It's just like a WS when they have contact w/ the OP again.

I really think she isn't the most worthy person anymore. She has shown her true colors and this time I see them.

I agree 'what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.'

r