Hey Guys......Response appreciated.....

I have posted her for sometime know under different name: rpositive. But lately my relationship w/ WW has changed..

WW and I have been separated since March 2004. We talk and get along well but we do not date. Share custody of 15 yr old son. And we mostly talk about issues concerning his care. Lately she has been asking me to attend bdays and holiday with her and her parents. Some i have some I have not.

But, today son told me WW/Mom is away on a trip w/ fiends. I think to myself: the week before xmas and she leaves our son w/ her parents, doesn't tell me, and she is with friends. Yea right I called her, and left a message. She called me back and I asked her when was she coming back, she wouldn't say, who was she with, she wouldn't say. I asked if she was w/ OM, she wouldn't say. I know I shouldn't of asked, but something made me ask.

I asked her if she wants a D, she said it seems like that is where we are headed. Then she said she wanted a D, (fog). She said she would call me when she got home. Part of me wants to talk w/ her again and another part of me (that is getting bigger) wants not to. I have been checking into lawyers since then. Getting ready. But, I it is still hard to take that step to file the D. I got that Doormat feeling again after feeling good about myself for a long time. Man I hate that feeling. These WS's are good at this.

Thanks for the ear/eyes!

r

DD 8/2001

Wow, you have been going through this for quite a while now. Did you ever do Plan A or Plan B?

beliver thanks for the response! You are dead on w/ "babble" and "reverse babble"

Yes I have.

Plan A'd for aver 2 years. Met her EN's. Then went to Plan B since WW wouldn't write NC letter, and continued contact w/ OM. WW moved out March 04 after I asked her to leave. She has been living w/ her parents since w/ off and on contact w/ OM since.

Once of the brighter spots: In August of this year she called me and left a message. Then she shows up at the house(our). It was the day of our 24 aniver. She cmae in watched some TV and we talked. A once point she walked up to me and hugged me and I asked her does she now what day it is. She said yes, and that is why she was there.

But alas, she still has contact w/ OM. We have our ways of knowing don't we, which really upset them.

r

That would be Orchid with the babble and reverse babble. I was never very good at it.

Just how long are you willing to wait?

How would it be financially if you did get a divorce?

Ooops sorry about that. It's been awhile since I posted here. But, I remember both of you being very helpful to a lot of us:)

I feel like I'am done. WW tells me today that she wants to talk when she gets back. I don't have a lot to talk w. her about except child custody of 15 yr old son. I asked her today if she would share custody. She said she hasn't thought about things like that. Mmm....selfish WS's.

Money wise I think I would be ok, but I just don't want to loose the house. I might have to pay alimony since she works parttime. We live in California so 50/50 & no fault... our home is an issue and custody of younger son.

Lately I feel like WW is attempting to drive a wedge between our oldest son and myself. The oldest is living w/ me while he is in college. I think if she can get me to tell him to move out (for whatever reason) she would not have any guilt in selling forceing a sale of the house in a D since I would be in it alone.

r

I live in California too - it sucks for divorce. You will just have to think it over carefully. Personally, after 3 years of this stuff, I'm done. I was miserable long enough.

It would be nice if you could share or get custody of younger son. I don't think alimony will be a problem as long as she is able to work. But I would check with an attorney.

My WH and I tried the informal settlement thing and go nowhere. But it would be a good way to go. If you can agree, you can do the whole divorce for less than $1,000.

Yes I agree...No Fault Divorce sucks.

Shared would be good. I have been checking the bar for an attorney.

I am going to try and get her to agree between the two of us on the issues before going attorney or at least have an attorney handle some of the sticking points wihout full representation by one.

I just think it will be a battle ground over the house since money is a big EN for her.

r

Get a divorce if...............
You no longer want to be maried to her.

You said you were in a "Plan B".

When did it end and why? Everything you described above indicates you are not in a plan B, but a plan.........well actually it doesn't sound like a plan at all. What are the options you are willing to entertain if you decide to resist a divorce?