With Christmas only a few days away, I am wondering if our WS'S really will think of the Christma's past and miss what they have left.

My WS'S will have both kids on Christmas Eve for the afternoon. This makes me sad because its also my birthday and well as DD'S. He is taking them to a party with OW that one of their friends is having. Seems thats the only way the kids can spend time with him for the holiday. I don't like it but not much I can do. this is his schedualed visit for DS and as long as no overnights are involved I can't stop him from being around OW.

So from noon until about 6 I am by myself on Christmas Eve. Once WH brngs the kids home we are going out to dinner for the birthdays. This is something WH always did for me on my birthday Red Lobster was always the place. I really dread this day coming ....

Will he think of his family on Christmas and miss the way it used to be or is he so happy in his fantasy he won't even think of it?

I know I will be thinking of Christma's past and yearning for it again.

So will they or won't they???????

Hurting -

I believe they will be.

I am glad you are planning on doing the dinner thing for you and DD on your birthdays. Please try to make it a fun night for you. Don't think about WH. Order yourself a special cocktail. Treat yourself to a nice bath after with candles & bubble bath. Focus on you. You can get through that day and you can get through Christmas.

My WH will be by himself.....alone. He will be more miserable I think than those WS's that are with the OP. But I truly feel that they are thinking of the BS.

HUGS.

Kim

I'm not sure this is true in my sitch. I know that my STBX misses his children horribly - but me? No. I've known a long time (but denied to myself) that he didn't love me the same way I loved him. It was easy for him to leave me, but not the kids.

The A and abandonment forced me to accept what I'd denied a long time.

But I know he'll miss Christmas with his kids. But once we are divorced and he has them for some part of the Christmas holiday, having the kids and OW there will be the best thing he could imagine.

Alph.

Hurt,Kim,and Alph,

Hurt-with so many years together under your belt and so much history how can he not be thinking of you? You just don't erase all those years together and pretend they never happened. Doesn't work......for anyone. Kim is right, be good to yourself, focus on YOU and the kids.

All- Sad part I believe is (and that I have seen so many times in the past w so many people I know) once WS's get enough of the OP under their belt they start to realize what they REALLY have and what they've given up. I have seen this happen invariably w family and friends. The really sad part is that invariably the BS has moved on by the time this happens and truly lost all feeling for the WS. Happens time and time again. My brother in fact is going thru this as we speak. His WW left him 8 yrs ago for her OM, married him 2 years ago and now is filing for D. WW has been in contact w my B out of necessity as they have a son together throughout this time several times a week. (shared custody) She is now (as she has many times in the past) "feeling my B out" to reconcile. He wants no part of her. Says he truly feels sorry for her but there really is nothing to go back to. He can't even muster up any P attraction to her any more. Sad.....really sad.

Christmas Blessings,
Tare

Tare,

Thanks for your insight. I know I have been thinking of Chritmas's past when the kids were little or even last year with the grandbabies. So how could the WS'S not think of it.

I hate to say this but thats my biggest fear Tare thatI will have nothing left for my H when he finally does realize what he has done. I don't want that to happen, I am trying hard to hang on to my love for him. But I can see someday that what your brother feels can happen to all of us... How sad for the WS who lost everything...

tare - interesting that pple keep saying that happens, but I somehow... don't see that anymore. It does happen to some people, and sometimes I don't think it happens to alot too. Especially when you have no children, or very little need to stay in contact with an ex, or STBX. Or when a WS deeply believes he had been living a lie with you for x number of years and that he is becoming more of this "True self" now.

I don't even see WH anymore. Or hear frm him. Other than cowardly straigh-to-the-point business-like replies by emails/ text msgs frm him. So ...Miss me? I highly doubt it. He has probably distanced himself from me for so long that I didn't even see it. Now, when I think back about all the signs of him withdrawing from me (I thought he was busy and stressed out at work), I now know he has not loved me for a long time. Yes, there's history and there's memories, but sometimes some people will be "zen" enough to want to put the past rightly in its place, where it shld be.

Including me. I do want to move on.

~A