Hello everyone let me get right to it I guess.
Oct. 30 found out my wife of 15 yrs. was having an affair,Oct 31 she moved out. We have 2 children 13,14 she just up and left,in the sep. agreement she gave me everything kids,house,property,child support she said that i wasnt paying her any attention myself and my kids and her family dont believe this but anyway,she moved in with another man.He also left his wife thru all of this I have been civil with her,but when she calls me(rarely) she is not the same person I have been married to for 15 yrs,cussing,screaming,lying,I donrt understand why all this anger towards me.She has stopped wearing her wedding band and now they are talking about marrying when the 1 year waiting period is over.

I still truly love my wife I know this in my heart when I found out about the affair I asked her to goto counciling her parents asked her to goto counciling but she refused she said she didnt want to it as if she has given up completely.

I guess Im just lost like i said I truly love my wife and want her to come home and still tell her to this day that I love her and want her back, so here goes my questions.

Is it to late to save my marriage?

How do I get thru to her when I talk to her(since she will only talk to me when he is around her?)

Am I fighting a losing battle to get her back after she has moved in with another man?

Me and his wife talk alot on the phone we are both in the same situation well my wife and the other man have tried numerous times to try to get us to stop talking they are trying to force one another on each others families and our kids but everyone has told them they dont want to meet the other.

Why the rush??

She has said that she will not see the kids on christmas but wait till monday after.Is this normal to not want to see your kids on christmas?

According to his wife this is his second marriage that he has walked out on.


Thanks

how often does she see the kids..
what do these poor girls say about thier wacked out mom who abandons them over a married man...
does the oM have children..what are their ages...

how much if any are the children exposed to this stranger..

ARK

not very gets daughter once every 2 weeks or so for 3-3 hours (my son goes to school out of town but he knows).
Both of my kids have stated that they are never gonna meet him, but the wife keeps pushing them hard.

Other man has no kids me and his wife talk often 6-7 times a week she has stated that he doesnt like kids they dont have any either.

She still is angry with me for what i dont know but she isnt cussing at nme that much when we do talk should i goto plan b????


please help me someone

Welcome. Stay in Plan A. That is absolutely necessary. You must stay calm, and not argue or yell at her. I know it will be difficult.

Are there things that she complained about before all of this happened? If so, those are the things you need to work on.

Have you exposed the affair to folks who might have an influence?

She said that i didnt spend enogh time with her that I was always at work well i did work but when i wasnt at work we did all kinds of things together(out for coffee liesting to jazz at local jazz house,wlking downtown) but she everyone a differnt story as to why she left?

Her family now knows of the affair as do my kids they have told her that they do not ever want to meet him,her grandparents have told her he is not allowed over to there house she is welcome but not him they work at the same company and now it is getting out there as well but what influence would i use there?

I have remained calm so far thru all of this(almost 2 months since she left)Im even getting the kids sprint cell phones so they can call her(since the om is so worried about using the minutes on his plan)I told her that i was getting them cell phones to and i told her that i was doing it because i loved her and the kids.
She called me back and told me thank you(i had to leave a voice mail when i told her about cell phones)

Dec 4 was her birthday i got her a card, and gave it to her but she got angry that i came out to car to give it to her when she came by to get daughter. so when i got her a christmas card i got my daughter to give it to her.

I dont know if she read it or not?

what else can i do ?
do i goto plan b? and let her see what she is losing? because she is not making contact with me unless it is to give me child support.

here it is we are all gathering for christmas im with her side of the family right now and she isnt even comming not even to see the kids..
she said she would get them on monday tho
do i go out to the car and say hi? or make any contact?