Let me outline where we are. We have been married 8 years and have 2 wonderful children 5 and 8. I am extreemly successful businessman and my wife has been a unfulfilled stay at home mom. We have had many discussion about her getting a job in the past. I have provideed the best for my family monitarily, but missed their emotional needs.
Four months ago, my wife had a miscarriage. She was very unhappy about the pregnancy and I was elated. We had a huge fight on the day of the DNC. She says the marriage ended that day. She is still having "women's issues"- which we do not know if it is related to us or what. She started counseling and started triumphing over her deamons. An abusive father who was not there for her. I was abusive both verbably and emotionally. She had always relied on herself, from the time of her parents divorce to our marriage. The counselour said that she was never really married to me.
Me- I come from a verably and menatally abusive family. My mother has a laundry list of issues and she has played us against each other. By the way, she is a counselor. I realized this week how verably abusive I have been and really remorseful. I asked her and the kid forgiveness. I have also blamed and disresepcted her. I am trying to change that through counseling.
The last couple of weeks have been ******. She asked for her space and I pushed he into a corner. She just wanted time, but I finally got her to say she wanted a divorce. We went to counseling, and the did an intervention in which we disavowed our vows and we returned our rings. Remarkeably things got better.
I have been reading all I can on how to change my behaviour and have really been beter at controlling my rage. We are still sleeping in the same bed and were kissing each other and saying "I love you". Yesterday, she stated she did not want to lead me on anymore. The old panic raised in me.
Here is what I have learned from reading the sight.
Time, space and distance- combined with alot of faith (God and your love)
Ok great. How do I do that under the same house in the same bed? I would like some positive stories on how this worked well. So far, there is no infidentlity, but a 60 year old 300 lbs man, has been "mentoring her". I think it has been an emotional affair.
I like the new women. The burden of deciding everything was very heavy. I would like some womens percpective on what I need to be doing/not doing? I want to hear some success stories, every forum I have read eneded badily? I need a place to vent.
I need to change for myself, but I am also doing this to save my marriage(wife and kids)? She says this is wrong. Is it? Can that be a positive motivation?
Any advice?
Hillcountryboy
