Hello everyone. I am new to this forum. I am thirty years old and a father of two. My world recently fell apart when I found out about my wife's affair. We have been married five years and have had our share of problems, mainly financially because we have a lot of expenses and I don't make a lot of money. I found strange calls and text messages on my wife's cell phone about two months ago. She at first said that it was her Tmobile salesman "flirting" with her. Some of subtle signs I noticed were her appearance(eye color, more makeup, overly concerned about her appearance. Another sign was over aggression when we make love, like new positions and wanting me to "talk dirty" to her. She admitted Saturday that the OM was actually an ex from eight years ago. She says they met for lunch and hugged but that's all. I don't believe her. She said she "cares" for him and is confused she may want to be with him. She gave me his mane and where he lives. This past Sunday she was supposedly at Dave and Buster's with a friend. I found receipt for KY Warming Massage liquid in the car from that day at a time she was supposed to be at the party. The drug store is close to where OM lives. She says this is pure coincidence. I spoke to her dad and he informed me she has some serious past mental issues. He said she tried to commit suicide at 19 and is also diagnosed as schizophrenic. I was unaware of this. She does tend to lose her short term memory. I am confused and I don't want to say what she is doing is OK just because of her illness. I am just tempted to leave and divorce her.

Welcome to MB. Unfortunately, you'll get a lot more responses over on Infidelity-Gen'l Questions II board. Copy and paste your post over there as that is the most active board on this site.

If the kids are not yours from a previous marriage do I assume they are both under the age of 5. No big deal just think if they are you got a lot to consider before you jump to the conclusion of divorcing or leaving her.

If she has mental issues than that does make your situation harder to advise but most marriages are savable and by utilizing MB principles you can increase your likelihood of success. If you could swing it calling Dr. Harley for phone counseling would be your best alternative (or free counseling through your church perhaps) but if you can not then posting and asking questions here is an alternative. None of us our professional counselors but we been there done that and have a pretty good grasp of the MB principles which are the best known principles to busting up an affair and restoring a marital relationship. They have another benefit as well....in the end if things do not work out you will be better equiped emotional to make such decision yourself and move on successfully into your own personal recovery.

Look forward to seeing you over on GQII

Mr. Wondering

Hi OZZ,

I am totally shocked that ou have been married 5 yrs to a woman with schizophrenia and you didn't know she has it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Now that you know she has it, you will need to educate yourself about the illness. Does she have a counselor/therapist?

Did you know scizophrenia is the most difficult mental illness to have and to treat?

Her parents have lived many years with her with her illness.
It may be a good idea to talk to them, and see how you may be able to better handle her episodes. She will turn into someone you have never seen before, as you have seen some of the subtle signs already. Becareful.

In the past I had a best friend with schizophrenia, and I know with out a doubt it is difficult not only on the one with it, but the family members. It is the most baffling illness you will ever see. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Has she been hospitalized? If so when? You may have to ask parents about that, if she hasn't been hospitalized since your being married to her.

Does she take medications?

Do you think she could be prostituting?

Lady

OZZ,

I would seriously advise you to talk to someone professional about this ASAP.

This is a serious problem and it's important to deal with it professionally!!!!

take care
bb

OZZ,

How are you doing? Thinking of you.

Lady