Oh so you were M to a man that refuses to accept the consequences of his actions???
I'm sure before he dropped his drawers, at least once it ran thru his mind - What if I get caught??? Well, he didn't care, he'd deal w/that problem IF you ever caught him or divorced him. I'm sure he thought you'd never D him, you'd be his lifetime doormat. He'd just do what he wants and not be accountible for his actions..Well, you proved him WRONG..
I was not trying to punish him, I was simplying setting boundaries and I had previously told him that I had no interest in being Md to a man who did not treat me & our M with love & respect. He continued to run around, treat me badly and not do anything to repair the damage to my heart & our M. So the only choices I had were to accept things or to D. I chose D.
You reacted to his disrespectful actions - he views that as "punishment"???? - what is he 5 years old???? You can't change what or how he thinks - tell him to put the shoe on the other foot - would he have fought like H### to keep his lifestyle if you were cheating and demoralizing him??? Would he have protected himself??? And even if there was a bbit of "punishment"/"revenge" on your part, he hurt you deeply to your very core and he needs to accept that and whatever the settlement it's never enough for the damage they've done.
Let this go - he'll never get it..nor will mine when I come out w/the boxing gloves on...He'll paint me as money hungry, that I don't deserve any $$$, since he continues to disrespect me, my standards, and NEVER tried to repair the M - he'll be right it will be "all about the money"...It's been almost 3 yrs. since I caught him and he's done nothing but find new bimbo's to bop..if he can spend money on them he can pay me too..JMHO
Hugs