Dorothy thought the wicked witch of the west was evil. That witch has nothing on this one. That she doesn't care about anyone but herself is abundantly obvious and she uses her lack of compassion as a reason for causing more pain. Wasn't that John Wayne Gasey's attitude?

And do you have anything actually HELPFUL to say?

Flukeboy, you can post your email and then delete it after he emails you.

Good point Melody. I'm not shy!

Brokenbird - You have mail.

Lots of helpful things, but I'm not gonna waste my time casting pearls before swine.

kahuna - One must admit that it's good that she is here at least. That's more than most WS's would do. This place CAN be beneficial in helping WS's come to terms with their situation and make that 180 deg. turn.

Case in point - LOST71 and Mrs_STOWaway.

I can only hope that SOMETHING she reads here will make a difference. It only takes a seed...

Flukeboy - yes - she has a hide as thick as a rhino.

At the moment, it doesn't matter what anyone says to her she is so full of crap and entitlement that it is just a waste of everyone's time & energy.

When she comes back here wanting to actually work on her marriage rather than go screwing some guy, my attitude will change.

There are a LOT of helpful things being said. Read between the lines. Everyone is trying to get you to accept that you are doing the most repulsive thing in the world a married woman...scratch that...that any woman could do to someone who loved her.

Let's see. Maggie thinks she's entitled to dump on her husband, a dozen folks out here who are taking time out of their busy day to try and get you to see the light do NOT think you are so entitled. One in favor of screwing the slimy other man, twelve against...thirteen if you count your husband. But we can see how you consider his opinion, can't we? Shouldn’t you consider the fact that everyone here violently disagrees with you? Don't you understand your position is indefensible? Woman, until you decide to listen to something other than your own ego, no one CAN be helpful any other way.

Kahuna - I think we're of the same mind on most of this...

magpie, I don't think you would consider anything helpful that disagrees with your intended mission of getting it on with your OM.

However, I will point out that men don't respect whorish, easy women so while he may use you for sex, he won't want anything further than that. A man does not respect a woman who does not respect herself. Easy women are a dime a dozen. They are good for a free piece of [censored], but nothing more.

This comment is helpful:

This site is all about recuperation and to reach that we accept that sometimes we have to give ground to our wayward spouses. Make apologies and amends and swallow our pride – all for the goal of eventually regaining a marriage to build up and make “affair proof”.

Having said that I must say that if faced with this situation I would tell my wife not to bother with a return ticket. There are limits to what humiliation I am willing to walk through.

Well said bigger.

Hi Brokenbird,

I was wondering if you ever thought of having a talk with OM?

Lady

Bigger:

Nice post and I agree.

I would add that the "tough" issue with this kind of stuff (for me at least) is being able to separate the statement of "what humiliation I am willing to walk through" vs being able to offer "support" or "helpful opinions" to someone who's limits are far far different.

I admittedly have stuggled with this and am still trying to "reconcile" this and learn to offer something constructive despite this.

Just a thought.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Magpie,

Please think about this. Why don't you and bird take a trip( one for at least a month) where only the 2 of you are going. This will help you getting thru this withdrawal and out of the house. After this month you can still take that trip if you need it. This is a lot to ask from you now. But take this time, it is not true that bird should take the kids, they need their mom. It is easy to say I will just go and let what happens happens.

But remember this, you have to live for the rest of your life with yourself and you have to think every day what you have done too yourself and too your children. They will not be ok. You might be creating adulterers by the example you set to you children.
You know yourself if you go on the trip with all the brain stimulants (endorphins) working against your marriage. your marriage will fail you will feel that this is right ( it will feel right but it will not last forever). You will hate yourself for letting this happen to you and your family but you will hate your self mostly.

Thank you for coming here!

Van.

LM, remember when I said there are two kinds of WS's? There are those for whom an affair is an aberration of character and then there are those who just don't know right from wrong.

Post deleted by ladysheep

I agree Lem that people’s thresholds vary. That is why I state “if I were faced with this situation”. What Brokenbird might accept can be completely different.

Yep, reading you loud and clear...this is still a very very "helpful" thread (to me at least) despite the utter horror and reality for the people who are living this (children and BS) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I can literally "feel" the frustration and anger in many of the well intentioned posters to this thread.

So many people want to scream and shake the WS here and have them "snap" out of it..., but I don't think that will be of any use here.

People mean well...they really really do...but it won't get heard here. At least NOT today.

I think the thread still has value, but perhaps not in the way most people think.

Just my thoughts.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

LM - It is very sad for her husband and family. But I know what you mean. We don't have many WS's posting here from their love shack. I'm trying to understand what she is thinking.