I got an interesting reaction from my WW today when she say I had my wedding ring on. I realised that one of my major LB things was forgetting to wear my wedding ring, because of my job as a mechanic I don't wear it to work & I would forget to put it on outside of work it wasn't done intentionally & I realise now it was a very insensitive thing to do.

When I got ready to go to her family's today for Christmas I decided to put it on, I wasn't sure if I should since it had been so long since I had remembered to wear it, I didn't want it to be a withdrawal from her love bank.

I didn't say anything about wearing it or make a big deal out of putting it on & I didn't go out of my way to make sure she noticed it either. when she first noticed it we were at the table getting ready to go when she noticed it & she gave me this weird look. It was a look of disbelief I believe, her mood seemed to change a little & she got short with me, I asked her if something was bothering her & she said no so I dropped it, nothing else was said & she seemed to be in a bad mood for about 20 - 30 minutes after that she acted pretty much normal (as normal as it can be right now ) I did catch her looking at it a few times like she could not believe I had worn it.

Finally my question, was this LB I put it on because I wanted to show her I care & I'm trying to be a better H, not to shove anything in her face. Should I have put it on? she has a lot of trust issues right now with me (ironic huh) she thinks I'm making these changes because I feel that I have to not because I want to.


What are your thoughts?

Cliff

I wanted to add one other thing about how she reacted to a gift today. I took my boys & got there pictures taken at the mall together, it took a lot of work as they are 14 & 16. being teenagers its hard sometimes to get them to do thing like this, when she opened the gift she criticized the way they came out because of the look one of my sons had on his face. I thought they were great & so did everyone in her family, why couldn't she just be thankful for the thoughtfulness of the gift? When she started to talk they way she did, in front of the kids I shut her down & told her to be happy they did it for her. The more I think about it I'm getting pretty p off at the way she reacted.

Well Merry Christmas. Aren't WS's fun? I suppose she is feeling a little guilty and that is why nothing seems to be good enough right now. Hopefully that will change soon.

I think getting your teen boys to even get pictures taken was a great thing. Sorry she didn't appreciate it.

cnamzat,
First off, let me say that the picture was extremely thoughtful and touching. IMO, a PERFECT Christmas present. And, you got teenagers to pose for it! Way to go!

I don't know your story but one thing that jumps out at me is that she is acting like she is in contact with OM. The anger at the wedding ring, the guilty anger at the photo . . . these are all signs that she is still in contact with OM. Perhaps he contacted her to wish her a Merry Christmas and say he misses her, or vice a versa. I hope I'm wrong, but I would keep my eyes and ears open.

Merry Christmas!

beliver thanks for the kind words of support I hope your Christmas went well.

shattered I am keeping an eye on it as best as I can, it did not end very well between the OM & her, she felt very betrayed by him. She had in her mind that they were going to have a life together & the week that d day happened I gave them a choice, I told him that if the W & him were going to continue he needed to expose the A to his W or I would. do the right thing with my W & continue there relation ship with all the cards on the table, if he chose not to be with my W he had to walk away with NC or I would make trouble for him with his job etc.

It was a pretty scary at first he said he was going to leave his W for mine. after about 24 hours he had a change of heart & decided he was going to try & work thing out with his W, this caused my W world to come crashing down because the OM she had fantasized having a relationship with betrayed her & went back to his W so she has no trust in anything that happened between them. I am pretty confident that she would not see or talk to him again.

My biggest problem is she says that she wants to try to work tings out but is not @ the point where she is putting much effort into it & says she is uncomfortable with me trying to fulfill her most important EN because she doesnt have feelings for me & she doesnt want to give me false hope by letting me try, how can she get her feeling back if she wont let me try to fulfill these needs?

There is progress but its slow & I'm not sure I can hang in there long enough for it to play out.


Cliff