Well, I have been trying to meet WH's ENs for the last two months, but as I said before, he shuts out almost every effort I make. So I was praying yesterday about how to meet his needs, and I do believe that God told me to look at the obvious, his major need for sex. I was concerned about it, but the need to meet his needs outweighs anything else right now; I knew that he wouldn't be able to shut down that need either. Did I force him to do anything? No, I was persuasive and determined, but I didn't force anything. I could see that he was struggling in his mind with the whole thing, and I fully believe that that struggle was about feeling like he was "cheating" on OW. So I kept telling him that what we were doing was okay, that it was right and good, that my giving myself to him was what I was supposed to be doing as his wife. He wasn't struggling with his body though, as I stated before, he was into it and helping me do things "right". Without going into detail here, I was doing things in a manner that I'm not accustomed to, but I know that he wanted me to do these things this way for a long time. So he directed me with his voice and guided me with his hands until I "got" it. That's not someone who is being raped, but someone who has succumbed to the advances of his wife. I also told him that it wasn't like he was even giving in to temptation, because that involves doing things that are wrong or illegal or immoral or whatever, but that we were doing as God designed us to do in the confines of our marriage.
Oh, he even called me "hon" during all this. He tries very hard to not call me that anymore, or any other term of endearment. It's slipped out one or two other times recently too. I know that the real "H" is trying desparately to surface, so I'm going to be there with a lifeline when he does. I love him too much to just stand by and do nothing.
