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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810 |
TA, In response to my Christmas Eve post (aka psycho-rant) about my husband, you wrote: Let's say, for the sake of argument, that a woman posts to this site who has a serious fear of intimacy, but also a fear of abandonment.
How would you expect that dichotomy to manifest itself in her behaviour? I'm not sure I wan't to know the answer to this, but are you suggesting I look in the mirror? --SC
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,584
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 1,584 |
SC
I've learned that sometimes, the hardest symptoms to recognise are your own. Not even the diagnosis, but simply the symptoms. It sometimes takes someone else to say "Is that a lump?"
And then I've spent a lot of time denying it, saying "No, it's just the way my clothes hang, it's the way I'm standing, it's a trick of the light...".
The best way I know is to imagine that someone else has posted a problem identical to mine, and make my analysis of that. Then I turn the mirror back and decline to make exceptions for myself.
But ask the question, then look at your own behaviours.
TA
PS Forgive me if this is less than you wanted. My MIL died a few hours ago. H got the news while we were in the middle of a painful argument. Things are...uncomfortable. Will post more when I'm back on better balance.
"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810
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Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810 |
TA,
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother in law and the difficult timing of the news.
Take care,
SC
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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