Ummmm, so she can cheat because she needs material things?? Boy, is her mom in denial.

Provide your proof of the affair to the guys gf. Call her and tell her that you two need to meet so you can show her the proof. Tell her not to tell him, but that you believe that he's lying to protect himself and your wife.

My wife warned me not to call them again because she told them to call the police if I ever did. I did ask the wife not to confront her boyfriend until we met but she confronted him anyway before I could show her the evidence.

Call the police and tell them what? lol She is bluffing you in order to get you to stop interfering in her affair. Don't fall for it. It is your job to interfere in the affair!! CAll the gf and offer to give her the evidence of the affair. Tell her she is being conned. If she doesn't want to meet with you, tell her that when she wants to know the truth, to give you a call. That will plant the seed.

But, don't make the mistake of falling for the bluster and blah blah of a manipulative WS who is protecting her affair.

Ozz, remember what your main job is here: it is to BUST UP THE AFFAIR. It is not to appease a crazy woman who is hellbent on protecting her affair.

Convincing the gf of the affair will help bust up the affair, appeasing your WW won't. Appeasing your WW or catering to her unreasonable demands will get you nowhere.

I agree with Believer! There appears to be an affair! It amazes me that people will do and say the craziest things to cover up their lies. I am being to believe this is part of the "thrill" they get from affairs.

Ozz, if she wants to leave, you can't stop her...but you're not going to let her leave with the kids, right? They deserve to stay in their home, not be carted off to who knows where by a raving WS.

We have a whole thread on this, but as usual, I can't find it.

When exposed, the WS will usually say that now you've done it, this is the last straw, I was going to work on the marriage, but now it's divorce time, how could you hurt the other family, you're crazy, this is none of your business, you are trying to control me, blah, blah, blah.

They usually have a big interest in what the OP or their spouse said, and want all of the details. I think this is so they can start damage control.

I would talk to the OM's wife again, and offer evidence.

But you know what - you have planted the seed already. It's odd how many BS's don't believe it at first, but they get on high-alert. She will be adding up things in her head. I'm sure her BF has made some mistakes. Now she will be watching.

Oh Heck OZZ,

This is too good to let go. You get OM to certify that he did NOT have an affair but they acted like they did to get back at you for something you did not do. You then take it around and show it to in-laws and others. It is clear you KNEW that she was having an affair because it was to "punish" you.

Now you don't believe this rubbish and neither do I nor will anyone you show this stuff to. But, it makes it clear that something happened between your W and OM and at the very least they MEANT for it to look like an affair.

You can defuse what she is saying completely with this AND you can put pressure on her to change her behavior. She cannot be mad at you reacting to something she and OM WANTED you to react to now can she? It is a load and you know it.

They had an affair, and it is still going on very likely but it is going quietly because he has swindled his GF.

Get the information and USE it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Jeez, this is too easy.

God Bless,

JL

I have to agree....this is definately an A and OM has convinced his GF of this crazy story.

It's gonna be very hard to carry on the affair now that she'll be looking harder at what he's doing. It's hard to believe that she believes it, but I believed some C-R-A-Z-Y stories that my ex tossed my way too. I talked myself into them is more accurate. But I watched with an eagle eye and she will too.

As for the anger, oh yeah!, it's normal. My ex FREAKED out when I told his OW's parents. I was crazy and horrible and psycho. I had ruined all chances of him every working on things. I showed my true colors. I pulled people into a private situation and disrupted others lives. I had never heard such venom spew forth from a person as I did that night on the phone.

I was terrified.

You know what, he got over it. She will too. It seems like you've ruined everything and you will question your actions (I did anyway). But you did the right thing.

Now go do some more!! Good job.

FIM

***I contacted live-in GF of the OM this past Friday. She got her bf on three way and they told me my wife was a friend of theirs. They stated that they asked my wife months ago to tell me the truth. They told me my wife was "faking" having an affair with him to pay me back for things she has perceived I've done such as cheating, etc.***

It occurs to me that WW may be involved with both OM *and* his wife in a bizarro little threesome. Strange, but things like this do happen.

***They offered for all four of us to sit down and discuss this.***

Maybe they wanted to invite you, too!

Seriously -- some people are into "swinging" and it's possible that's what your WW stumbled into.
Mulan

Oh yeah...and on the subject of having the police called!!!


HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'd be tempted to call JUST to have them call the police. Please! That's a pathetic attempt to scare you off.

OW in my case threatened to have a restraining order put on me because I called her family.

I wish she would have. I would have loved that day in court!!! Nothing like having the whole sorrid affair spelled out in a police report and response to a restraining order for historical reference... forever <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Well...I am genuinely sorry you have to deal with all of this heartache, but I must admit....this comment by your WW cracked me up. I could not help busting up. I know it is not funny, but just step back and look how ridiculous she sounds.

WTF are the police gonna do or say when "they" (OM/GF)call them (Police) because you called "them"(OM/GF)... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I am going to seek approval from the "board" of directors to nominate this one to the "Annual Wayward Spouses Most Innane Comments" award ceremony in late January 2006. I guess like any good Oscar movie, at least your WW got this "comment" in before January 1st.

Chin up dude.

Times are tough, but they will get better.

They always do...one way or the other.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I drove by OW house 2X and my WH told me I was going to be aressted for stalking - I laughed over taht one. I said go ahead and call them. How is that one LM?

Typical.

L <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Wasn't there a thread at one time with a collection of the most inane things said by a WS? It was a SCREAM! I think it was back in 2003 maybe?

I wish I had the computer literacy to "bump" that one up.

That was a SCREAM, I agree. Seems we may need to "update" it anyway.

Lem

Can't you "bump" it just by writing a new post to it?

LH (<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> GO USC !!!!)

One would have to "find" the post to bump it.

I am not sure "where" it is.

The search function here is limited at best (at least for me).

Lem

Ohhhhhhh, I see. That's not what you said. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Anyone remember any particular words or phrases that were used and who might have said it? Search strings are easy.