Eav,

Not to worry thats what I will be saying as this ship sinks. I will never agree and it may be forced upon me but he will know and the court will know this is not my wish and I still love my H.

Worldofthelost,

I won't give up... Even if this happens I still won't give up hope that it can be worked out... Maybe I'm a fool for still wanting our marriage and him but I won't give up yet...

Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers.....

Hurting - Don't agree to the divorce. It is always harder to get a divorce if one party contests it. I would also ask him for spousal support for you to get training for a better job. Make if MORE difficult for him.

I'm sure OW has been hounding him to file.

Believer,

I am not going to agree at all. Not sure what that will do but I am doing it.

Oh yeah I am going to go for it all if he really wants this I am going to try for everything i can get..

I agree I think OW fond out he didn't file and has been on him about it... I just find it funny no court date though... Maybe one will be made on the 11th who knows... Maybe him and his attorney thought I would cave then and make this easy for him ..... Not happening

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> which will lead to resentments, which will lead to LOVEBUSTERS! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

We can only HOPE Mel......

I pray thats what has been happening.....

okie, it's ok to be a little upset, we fully understand that. But whatever you do, don't start talking about throwing in the towel because Mimi is around this week! There is he11 to pay when she sees any surrender talk!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

{{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}
I wish I could hop on a plane right now and come give you a big hug and help you paint, etc.

I want to offer you some hope. The divorce filing does not have to mean anything. More than likely it is his way of trying to sell property, etc. and/or at the urging of his attorney. Here is a link I found for Oklahoma divorce law. Of course, I would consult your attorney but it may put some of your questions at ease.
http://www.morelaw.com/articles/oklahomadivorce.htm


Time for Final Order Where Minor Children Involved-Waiver-Educational Program-Exceptions

A. 1. In an action for divorce where there are minor children involved, the court shall not issue a final order thereon for at least ninety (90) days from the date of filing the petition which ninety (90) days may be waived by the court for good cause shown and without objection by either party.

2. The court may require that within the ninety-day period specified by paragraph 1 of this subsection, the parties attend and complete an educational program specified by Section 107.2 of this title.

It appears you have at the very least 3 three months. It also appears the court may order counseling.

Hurting, my husband filed 2 months after D-Day. I was completely and utterly devestated. Guess what? Our divorce may be final (I'm awaiting papers) and NOW he is turning around. He was here today and told me what a [censored] he was. He is in turmoil and is trying to find a way back to me. AND he was SURE divorce was what he wanted. And he did a heck of a job convincing me. I never posted even though I lurked because I thought my sitch was different. I thought, well, these people's WS's haven't filed for divorce. Even if you get a divorce, it's not over until it's OVER. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I don't know if it makes you feel any better, but you have the love and support of all of us here.

{{{{{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Mel,

I am not throwing in the towel. I just need to figure out how to handle this... What to say what to do ....

I want my H home ..... or at least away from the OW ...

I just don't know what to do now. What can I do or say to show him its worth saving and trying.....

I need some serious help here ....

Should I continue to stay dark? Do I not repsond to this in anyway.... Do I act like I don't care .... what ????

Shattered, thank you so much for telling her that!!

Here is what you do. Go paint your toenails a pretty color of red and perhaps shampoo your carpet today? Another suggestion would be to go rent Season 1 of Desperate Housewives and have yourself a good ole time catching up!

As far as your H goes, nothing has changed and there is nothing for you to do. He is probably hoping to get a huge reaction out of you. Don't deliver, ok?

Hurting, I'm sure you're angry and have a lot of questions. But there are still lots of options from where you are...
Here's my experience with the filing in cali; when my W's lawyer filed 14 mo ago, there was no court date... At least nothing that I was notified about. Unfortunately in cali, as in many states, only one party is needed to file and finalize a divorce, the only thing a spouse that want to reconcile can do is force a 6 mo mandatory reconciliation "therapy" period before it can be finalized.

Shattered ,

Thank you thank you for that post.

I hope and pray thats how things can go for me....

It does give me hope things can turn around....

Well I hope the 90 days thing works out that gives 3 more months for this to affair to fizzle out.....

All I ever wanted was a chance to work on our marriage and he never even tried. And let me tell this OW is a wack job, but he does not see it.....

Again thank you for your positive post.....

Stu,

We have a minor child so we have to go to court or mediation, it isn't that easy with kids involved.... Thank goodness... I am telling my attorney I don't want to agree and we will go from there...

Mel,

I am not repsonding in any way.... My mom says he prbably wants you to call him crying and begging.... I will not do that .....

Oh believe me, he WILL. With you out of the picture and no longer available for demonization, the focus will turn to the many flaws in loveland. And OW does not have the benefit of MB and will start lovebusting.

Hope it starts soon......

Amen, should you or should you not tell the children he has filed? How should you handle that with them? You know every reaction you have in front of the children will get back to him somehow.

Lady

i aggree with Mel. Let the crap fall all around them with you out of the picture. Nothing could be sweeter than to see OW LB and it is bound to happen. Don't do Divorce. Keep doing Marriage. Stay strong.

It ain't over.

you know what stinks oklahoma?

our H have 2 people that want them (so does OW) they have a place to go and someone to be with...they have a choice

we don't

we end up alone

Lady,

DS does not know yet. I am not telling him, if his dad wants him to know he can tell him.

DD knows though she was there when the phone call came. She just said I am sorry mom. To be honest I don't thinkshe cares one way or another. So I am going to keep my feelings to myself and this board.

I don't want him to know anything I am feeling... He knows this is not what I want and I would be willing to bet he thinks I will call him. I do want to strangle him though, he is being so stupid ......

Eav,

Your right about that , but like everyone keeps reminding us it ain't over till its over .....

Keep praying and having faith..... Hards to do but thats all we have for now....

Keep trying to make our lives happy , now that may take me a day or two since this news but I will continue to try ....