My oldest son just called. He is going to Va. this weekend to se emy DIL'S dad. My mother lives like 40 miles from her dad so he called her and is going to take the grandbabies over to see her.

So anyhow he was telling me he told his dad he was going to see her. What do you think WH says? He say to tell My mother that he still loves her...... I told my son don't you tell her nothing of the kind because she will flip out. Can he be so stupid as to think my mom is going to be joyful over hearing this? She would just as soon spit on him right now as to even look at him after what he has done.

He knows how my mom is and he should know that she thinks very little of him at this point in time. I find it hard to believe he woould even suggest such a thing. He can't love me but he can still love my mother.... I tell ya his mind is so gone right now.......


Hurting

Oh I forgot to tell you I tried calling the Harley's radio program today and they had enough callers for the day.

So I will be home thursday afternoon and am going to try agai at 3 on the dot. Maybe I can give a quick recap and see what Dr. Harley has to say ......

It darn sure can't hurt......


Hurting

Hurting -

I'm reading you --- Sounds like you are going to look HOT! You will do great!

Good luck in calling into the Harley show!!!

Kim

Kim,

I don't know about looking hot, but I will make sure I look good.

Yes tomorrow I will be home in the afternoon so I am going to try and get on the Harley show. One thing for sure it can't hurt to talk to the man himself.

I sure want his opinion on this mess....


Hurting

Thats cause he still wants to be the good guy. AAarrgghh. Stupid aliens!!

good luck getting through on the show

Confused,

I know what you mean. But my mom is not the one he should even be trying that with..... I still find it unbelieveable he would even send a message like that.

Good thing she is 1400 miles from him because I would hate for her to see him...... It would not be pretty....


I hope I get through on the show.....


Hurting

Hi Hurting-
Sure does show how "clueless" the WH are about the reality
going on around them, doesn't it ?

Today's been better, as I did well with a "backed off, Plan
A and 180's" last night, did my own thing and I also got
more sleep.
WH came home quiet and unusually tired, ate and then slept
most of the evening, so that made it pretty easy !
Also noticed he didn't get any calls last night (the OW has
been calling at least once each evening lately) but don't
know it that means anything.
Also don't know if his being so quiet and tired is related to medication issues, our situation, or something with OW.

WH's preliminary court date on the DUI was this morning.
Several weeks ago I had asked if he wanted me to go and he
had declined, so didn't say anything further, except to say
I hoped it went okay before he left this morning. Haven't
heard anything since-

Will continue with same~
Thanks for your continued support and thoughts.
Slammed

Slammed,

Clueless is isn't even a word that describes a WS.
More like brain dead fits better.

I am just so tired of working and making myself crazy with all of this. I just got home from one job and leaving for the other one here in 10 mins or so.... These 14 hours days are killing me. The only person who seems to worry about me is DS. I never htought at this point in my life i would have to be doig this to survive because my H decided to walk away. One damn thing for sure he could care less right now.

Anyhow enough of my whinning and pity party. Things could be worse i guess.

Everyone take care....


Hurting

I bet pay day feels pretty good...and having money to pay bills and not worry <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />if the alien will mess with your funds!

Confused,

Your right paydays are nice and not have to worry as much about the bills. Thats the only bright thing in this. but I have ot admit without the CS or SS I get from WH it would be very hard to pay everything. But were there is a will there is a way.

I am just so tired. I want to rest I feel like i have aged 20 years in 8 months. I just want life to be good again and be were I was last year this time. I just want my life back..... Instead the OW has my life with my H. I thank God everyday though she does not have my family or children ....



Hurting

If the OW is paying for sooo much, the WS should have lots of $$ to give you. What part of all this babble am I missing. LOL!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

Orchid,

Thats a good question. I to am wondering about the $$.....

I believe its another lie to make me think she is all that.... But I would be willing to bet ya now she is abought woman..... Crap why would she keep him if he was'nt spending $$ on her.....

What an idiot he is .......


Hurting

I still have that e-mail from PBR when she informed me that she was going to make the WS healthier, wealthier and happier than he had ever been with his family. At first I went into shock, then hurt....later it was outright funny. Dumb OW..... I later told the xws that I wanted my $$ back. He said what $$, I said the $$ I lost because of your stupid A. He said from who? I said, from you....he said he didn't have it, then I told him to go get it from the OW. HE said she couldn't afford it, I blew up and said.....I got proof....I pulled out the e-mail and said...see, she put it in writing..... now go get me my $$$. LOL!!!!

Bottom line....Ws'& OPs are full of hot air and crap. When push comes to shove, they ain't got nothun' valuable.

Still it was fun poking fun at their stupidity.

LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

L.

LOL Orchid

I tell ya what I have been doing some thinking and a lot of your babble is going to be used friday at mediation ....

I got it all laid pout in my head.... From the moeny thing about what his family is worth to the find my real h thing....

In fact I am going to make crib notes to keep it all straight.... lol

Maybe I can confuse him if nothing else...... lol


Hurting

Good Job.

Thanks for helping LT.

Glad 2 c u doing better.

WS' are a trip, aren't they?!?!? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.

Hurting I feel your pain. I pray for you and your family that things do work out. D is such a ugly monster. It brings pain that nobody wants to feel. Just stay stronge and be smart about your feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is be honest with what is really going on:

I wonder if OW found out he didn't file it and pushed it some more.... The no court date thing still has me baffled though .... When they filed the LS we knew that day when the court date was. They set the court date the day its filed....

He is still trying to hold on, but like your MOM said, he maybe looking for an reaction from you. Don't give it. Just be honest. You know him better that any of us, let your mind speak first........then your heart.

Orchid,

Yup WS'S are a trip for sure. I am doing so much better but still have my days.

Secrets,

Your right the D word is painful and having it happen is something I never thought would would really happen.

I know the court date thig was baffeling to me as well. When I filed my LS papers I knew that day when court was. So I could not figure out why his D papers had no date.

Of course within a few weeks they set a date. I do believe the OW found out and pushed him into filing them. But once they were filed he followed through with no problem. Lets face it he came to me a few weeks later and said he didn't love me and never would again. So I have my doubts that he is trying to hold on anymore.

I am ready for mediation tomorrow as best I can be, I know I can't stop this divorce its all his call now. Only he can do it and I am pretty sure he won't. All I can do is say what I need to and let the chips fall were they may.

I would say within a few weeks of this we will have a court date and it will be all over. So I am trying to prepare myself for that. OW has a strong hold on him and nothing I say or do will break it. He is going to have to figure this out on his own. In the meantime though our family is torn apart.

Thanks for the support, I appreciate it.


Hurting

hurting,

I will be at work tonite and tomorrow day/eve, but I just wanted to let you know ahead of time that my prayers will be with you tomorrow.

I know this will be a hard time, but you have the Lord's strength, plus the support of all of us at MB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I know you will be looking good and being your classy self. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

God Bless, and prayers going out for you!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thank you Miss M. all of the prayers and support are very much appreciated.

This is a very scary time for me but I will be ok....



Hurting

Yes, the WS's certainly are something !
Hard to even think of adequate words to describe the total
change as the H transforms to the WH. It was also amazing
to see the change as he briefly came out of the "fog" a
couple of months ago- began being honest, was considerate
and polite, really making an effort, and now sadly is back
to the foggy state.

They seem to lose all ability to think clearly, have no
logic or sense, and can't see anything but whatever it takes
to get more of their "drug" (OW) like an addict craving his
alcohol or drugs. Mine has gone from being my "rock" and
"strength" who always knew what to do and could handle any
situation, to someone who is totally confused, helpless,
weak and "on the fence" about everything. No wonder they
are so easily controlled by the pushy OW !
It's hard to believe mine is so easily manipulated by her,
and still has any interest or attraction after all she's
done- if it'd been me, he'd have been furious !
Like your OW, I'm sure mine is also trying to push for D.
In the little bit of conversation I heard between OW and
WH last week, she was trying to do it in a very sly way,
saying "I'm not putting any pressure on you".....
(not as obvious as yours, with wanting a ring !!)

It was a quiet night here.
WH was home when I got there, ate dinner, and watched some
TV until time to go to his weekly volleyball game.
OW called twice on his cell before he left- talked just a
short time on each (he goes outside to talk- how lame !)
I assume he went to his game, but since hearing him tell
OW that he could "find a way to get out of it" a couple of
weeks ago, I do have to wonder. He was gone longer than
he's been sometimes, so may have really played, but then
taken time to talk more on the phone before he came home.

He had gotten a letter from the DMV, and expected it would
be the date and time for the hearing he requested on his
losing his license due to the DUI. Was suprised and very
disappointed when he opened it as it said his request for
hearing was denied. I read it too, and it appears that he
missed some small detail in a "loophole", so now can't even
appeal the 90 day suspension. Also means he's been driving
on a suspended license, which would be a huge issue if he
gets caught ! Obviously, that didn't help his mood. I
said I was sorry, that it seemed almost like a trick in the
way it was worded. He was going to contact his lawyer right
away today.
After that, just went on to bed.

I woke up in the night, thinking about what a huge mess WH
has gotten himself into. Seemed to all "blur" together and
make my head swirl with thoughts of OW, phone calls, the
photos of them together, lawyers, bills, the Dr, counseling,
medication, more expenses, etc !!! Decided I was going to
have to just keep taking a day at a time, not "worrying"
ahead and trying to figure it all out, and keep trying to
"give it to God". Thinking of myself as more "removed" from
the situation did help some.

WH got up earlier today to go to his meeting. He's not ever
been very talkative in the morning, so I don't usually say
much. Did ask him "how the house was coming ?" and "was he
still planning to move into it ?" He said it was to be
done in a "couple of weeks",and "yes, he was still planning
to move there". Thought he might launch into his little
speach about how it has "nothing to do with OW", "was his
plan all along" and some of the other B.S. he's said about
it before because I had my reply in mind.
Wanted to say that "IMO, his moving to the new house alone (1) confirms that he is not committed to me or our marriage since we can work on nothing while living in seperate homes. 2) that part of the move is to appease OW, since I'm sure it was a condition of her taking him back, and
(3) it just lets him continue his A with more ease. "
At the appropriate point and time (which might not be until
he moves, or in a Plan B letter), I'd like to say to him
that I've already tried giving him the benefit of the doubt,
help, support, and care while he says he is "trying" to
end it with OW, and am not going to be "burnt" on that
again, so will not have anything to do with him while as
long as he is still involved AT ALL with OW.

I do feel very bad for him and his situation with having
to figure out how to work and get around without his license
and I'm sure he'll end up driving without it, which is very
risky if he gets caught.
I can't help but feel sorry about it since his Dr has said his "lack of impulse control" is very much part of his illness, but also realize he got himself into the situation.
(and OW was right there with him when it happened, which to
me should really help kill the attraction, but so far seems
to have no effect). I don't want him to be with me just
because he needs help or a ride, although part of me does
want to be able to help and be involved - does that make
any sense ?

Just working today and still feeling pretty crappy with
sinus infection or whatever keeps hanging on - I'm sure
the stress has really done a number on my immune system !

Will certainly be thinking of and praying for you tomorrow
Hurting. I know you will look and act like the classy,
strong, independent and confident person you are !
Slammed