if I can do this without being ugly or mean about this and just let what my heart is feeling out would be nice. I am so tired of being ugly and mean. The days are marching by and divorce is days away. I still hate it and i dont want it, but i dont like him!!!! I dont understand why he would want me to have to call him every week and ask if he has sent the ck. Do you think he likes to make me feel small. God knows if i didnt have to have the money i would'nt take a penny from him. He got mad at me when I said my 13years lost was more importent then the time he lost. He just dont understand I put all my faith in him. That he would always be there. that we would be there for each other. He has a wonderful job he has 2 homes he has a new lover! and i have a broken heart no home and the only lover i've had in the last 13years is in the arm of an other. I miss him so much and when i should be thankful he is out of my life in a few days i just want to scream at him to make him understant how wrong this all is. he even ask why i couldnt say any thing good about him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> he has distroyed me and he wants me to say nice things about him. ok if i could have said jeff you are a good man you are nice and kind to people everyone seems to like you, you have the ability to just start a conversation up with just anyone. (and an afair) sorry that wouldnt be nice or build up his selfesteem. you are a wonderful provider you make it possible for me to stay home an take care of you. you have a great job for someone that didnt get an education and has just been a hussler all his life I'm real proud of you for going so far on so little. no i am being mean again he is a real smart man. If he would have went to school he could have been anything he wanted. He would have made a great doctor. He was a wonderful lover he always made me feel special that we was good togeather, but then 3 years ago he got sick (one thing or another) so when someone dont feel good that kinda takes the back seat. then in Sept. he had to have some stents put in and he didnt feel good at all after that. I was scard to death to be with him. I would reather go with out that then to live without him. he loved my attention rub his feet rub his back oh well it was all part of loveing him and i did truley love him. I let some things get in the way i smoked and that got in the way (i dont smoke any more and i dont want anything to have that much control over me as smoking did). I didnt communicate well. I didnt want to stress him out or get him upset,and that has never been my strong suit. I really didnt know he was so unhappy with me he would turn to another woman. I would have done any thing for him. I never would have left him in good health or bad. I loved being his wife and i was proud to be his wife and in a few day i cant call him my husband. that rips me up inside. I feel i am in death row and in a few day i will be put to death. PLEASE GOD SAVE ME!!! I dont want tomarrow to come. i dont want the divorce to come. their is nothing i can do and only God knows what is going on in jeff heart. I really need help. this is killing me day by day. ...........

I wish there was someway I could help but there isn't. I'm the wrong person to take advice from because I failed to save my own marriage. My wife ran off with a married man. There were children involved on both sides but they did not hesitate to be together and to leave 2 spouses behind.

All i can say is that I have felt exactly how you feel now. That someone was slowly putting me to death. It hurts like no other pain. I know. Your not alone. All I can say now is that it will get better. Even after divorce. It takes time and you will have to take one day at a time.

There is one other thing that I have to say. You have searched and looked at all the things that you might have done to prevent this. He has probably brought up everything that you should have done in the marriage to justify his actions. The weakness is in them and not you. It is your husband that is wrong and not you. It is his failure and not yours. Someday, he will realize his mistake and will regret it. That day may be some time away but it will come. Whether you want to believe it, when it does come you may not want him back. Because at that time you will realize his weakness is not your own.

It's not your fault he chose to go to another woman and not to address any problems he had with you. There was nothing you could do.

Any woman who is willing to take on a married man will be willing to leave him for someone she thinks is better. The woman has no respect for marriage.

He may never come back, but he'll only be worth your while if he is the one who comes back to you.

Cherished

he said he told me over and over. why then did i not see it why did i just do nothing if i loved him so much?????

It is the tendency of all wayward spouses in the beginning to shift blame to the betrayed spouse so that they can say it was our fault and not theirs so that their conscience will not eat them whole.

Don't buy into it. He is the one who cheated and not you.