I have read many postings from spouses who say that their spouse has met the other person but didn't sleep with them. I guess I wanted to bring this topic up, because my H said the same thing for 3 months. Maybe I wanted to believe him, and maybe it was more than I could take emotionally to accept the fact that he was intimate with another woman. I want other people to realize that most likely that if they have met, and they went to extremes to meet, they have most likely also slept with them. My H was so confused, he didn't want to let the family go but also like that "feeling" he got from the ow. One thing when questioned, H was always very defensive. Like one time I told him I was going to be tested for STD's, he got very upset. My advise to all of you is don't put your head in the sand. Just remember affairs are deceitful and if they have entered into one, the lies have already started. At least use protection with the person you love, because during these times they are in a fantasy. My H was not thinking straight, he lied to me until he got caught red handed. Just think about it and leave it open as a possibility....then it may not hurt as bad when it is a reality. I would never say that any of your spouses may not be telling you the truth....I've just been through it. I even asked my H this weekend what he thought about it.....he said he would place a bet that they have slept with the other person.

Ditto.

You are very, very right!

Well, if experience counts, add another ditto, ditto, ditto.

I didn't believe my H for months. In his favor was he only saw her a total of ten times and they had been total strangers so there wasn't much of emotional connection that built. and I think for the last few times he was feeling pressured and wanted to get out of it. He didn't like that she drank, smoke and swore...so I don't think he found her all that attractive. The more he got to know her, the less he liked her.<P>There were some events in H's life which made me believe he wouldn't jump right in bed and had the strength not to.<P>In his mind at the time I think he thought sex was a line and he didn't want to cross it.<P>It is only part of the story that was absolutely consistant.<P>He once made the remark that she said she wasn't used to that kind of response from a man. (She had lots of affairs)<P>Am I 100% sure. No. I let him feel safe and that it didn't make a difference in our outcome, just didn't want a long term lie.<P>Also I told him God was also listening, He knew the truth and someday I would too. He could look me in the eyes. With shakier issues of affair he could not, or his explanations seemed lame.<P>Given much more time or involvement, I think he would have...he was caught early.<P>Don't know why I'm defending him, but in a few cases, maybe it is true. I hope mine is one of them.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

FHL, for your sake, I hope so as well. I think at some point you would know. Dark deeds are revealed in the light and YOU definitely have the Light.