I found out 9 weeks ago that my husband of 27 years and the father of my 5 grown up children had been having a 5 week affair with someone from work- a woman he had only known for 8 weeks in total, she is married with 2 small children and is 14 years younger than him- I felt completely betrayed and threw him out.

After some discussion I realised that my husband did not want to try to work on our marriage and 10 days after he left tHe OW'S husband left her and they moved into her house together.

9 days later he's living with his sister and has subsequently rented an apartment.
Out of the blue he calls me last week to talk about him paying my mortgage and he reveals he had to leave her house as her husband has returned to stay for the holidays but states he will be moving back in with her in february when the OW'S husband returns to his work abroad.

I thought that if they loved one another as my WS told me that they would be together and not living 2 hours apart as they are now- is this the beginning of the end for them or am I just wishful thinking.

To also put you in the picture about how I and the children are dealing with this situation- I now have no contact with my WS except through lawyers and the children have also decided that this was the best course of action for them also as he was lying about stupid things to them and also for the hurt he has caused their mother.

I certainly dont like my WS at the moment but I continue to love him deeply and wish he would come to his senses and return home- does this ever happen or is it too much to ask.

You advice would be greatly appreciated.

Welcome. Start reading up on Plan A. That is the beginning point. It is very difficult to work on a marriage when one partner is out of the home.

Be sure to let the OW's husband know that the infidels are planning to start up the affair again once he is out of the country.

If you haven't already done so, expose this affair to the OW's H before he goes back abroad. Don't take your H's word on anything.

Follow the MB plan and you may have a hope of recovering your M. You may have rushed to Plan B before even starting a Plan A.

Look at your part of the state of your M pre-A. See what you can do to become a better W...not that you are responsible for your WH's decision to have an A...but you need to spend some time looking within and not just pushing it away from you.

Jame's Dobson's 'Love Must Be Tough' is another good resource.

OW'S husband knew about the affair immediately it began- he told me that she made it quite clear what was going on, he did not let me know, I discovered it on my own.

OWH did not move out until the OW took WS to meet her children, he then went overseas to work again but returned 2 weeks later and WS moved back out- goodness only knows whats going on in the minds of her 2 small children.

Can't even get straight why I want back a man who would allow this to go on - and these are supopsed to be intelligent people with high flying careers.

I understand what your saying completely. I too wonder how someone who has always shown intelligence and commonsense can suddenly turn into an idiot. I would say you probably have a good chance of saving your marriage, mine on the other hand could be a lost cause. Good luck to you and listen to the wise people here. They know their stuff.