My wife and I are young newlyweds. We are both 23, and have been married for only 7 months. She is still in college and I work full time and support her.

Due to mental and emotional issues, she has been dependent of others for her entire life. She lived with her parents until she moved in with me. She lived in an apartment with roommates for six months before she was hospitalized and moved back in with her parents.

Her college carrer is quickly coming to a close, and she is now facing that point in her life where she is forced to find herself and her independence. All of this confusion is making her uncertain of herself. She is looking to men online for attention and withdrawing from me.

I am not worried that she will be unfaithful, but she let me know that she isn't interested in sex with me right now. She is more interested with something new, and fresh.

During a long conversation today, she explained all of this to me. I wasn't surprised. I somehow knew that this would happen.

I know she feels as though the last few years have been stolen from her, and I'm not sure what the best way to handle the situation. I am a very laid back and understanding guy, and I am willing to do anything to help her through this phase in our life. I am, obviously, worried that during this life changing period, that she will change away from me, but I am comforted by the fact that she loves and respects me enough to be so honest with me about it.

Any advice about handling the situation that any of you have would be great.

Hey RSmith,

I actually went through a very similar situation with my current fiance. We dated for about 3 years, 6 years ago, at which point I asked her to marry me. She accepted but two weeks later gave me my ring back and told me that she needed to "find herself" (btw, her situation was almost exactly the same as you described for your loved one). We were broken up for about 2 years before we got back together and needless to say she went through some extremely bad periods - she got into drinking, smoking, drugs (and as a result promiscuous sex, she eventually wound up pregnant and broke). Getting pregnant seemed to be a turning point and out of the ashes she did find herself and on her own came back to me and asked her to marry her (kinda wierd having it backwards:) Now, I don't know if your wife would have to go through something as drastic as what happened to mine but I am glad to be back with the person I have always loved. Since you are married I would suggest giving her A LOT of space but set your boundaries -- let her know that you care enough to give her space but there are some things that go too far (cheating, drugs, staying out till 5am, whatever it is for you). If she loves you the way you do her then she will be able to do it. Best of luck!