I have been doing a research paper on Leadership Skills, and coincidently, my husband brought home this book, after I had already completed and turned in my school paper.

What a wonderful book for those betrayed and wandering spouses.

It gets right down to what marriage builders is trying to accomplish with the carrot part of Plan A, making yourself over into the best you can be.

What I find interesting is the fact that it explains what dependence/independence/interdependence is.

It explains how to accomplish going from dependent (behavior/defining your worth on other's opinions of you), to independent behavior (ability to value your worth based on your own internal principles, and do not need other's approval to find value within yourself) to finally interdependence (ability to create your own sense of worth, but realize the value of being loved, and appreciated.

This was definately, my Aha, moment.

I get it.

My worth is not based on what my former wander spouse thinks of me.

Because he chose to love or not to love me, does not mean I am an unloveable person.

I am not a victim.

I did not choose to be in this situation.

I do have control of how I feel, and the choices I will make.

Marriage builders and Stephen Covey seem to want the same thing, to help people go from dependence, to independence, and finally to interdependence.

To be able to change what is within our influence, and to accept what is beyond.

To heal our broken spirits, and to develop self-worth through our discovery of trying to better ourselves.

For those of you, who have also read this book, I would love to hear what your thoughts are and what you have taken away from this author.


Sincerely,
K.D.'s Brokenheart

I have read it - felt inspired enough to draw out the specific skills that a person needs to graduate from one relationship skill set to the next.

I have some very close connections to Stephen Covey's work. One very compelling book for betrayed spouses to read is "The Divine Center" - You'll have a hard time finding it on Amazon but I found it here http://deseretbook.com/store/product?sku=4920308

He talks about the relationship we should focus on the most - and it's not being centered around our spouses - but upon the Lord instead.

When we go through the shock of D Day, it's very easy to overcompensate and allow our lives to revolve around our WS - but the only way to get to center is to find the divine center.

Thanks for replying Kayla,
I will definately check into this book. What I like the most about Stephen Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was the connection between our learning to validate ourselves, and although we would like for people to agree with us, their disapproval does not shake our confidence in who we are, or what we believe in.

Stephen Covey is absolutely brilliant. He also did a 7 Habits for Families.